Victim Of Curse Comic Strips - Page 2

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53 Results for Victim Of Curse

View 11 - 20 results for victim of curse comic strips. Discover the best "Victim Of Curse" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 01, 1994's comic on:


Tags #macro economics, #diagram, #flood victim, #mechanical pencil, #erase

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Professor: Lets start with a brief refresher in macro economics. This diagram explains why Im and expert in money yet I dress like a flood victim. You'll have no trouble with the rest of the course unless your mechanical pencil jammed...lets erase....

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1994's comic on:


Tags #job performance, #reflects on boss, #balance of power, #get fired, #low job perfromance, #wally hold hostage

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Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I suddenly realized that MY job performance reflects on YOUR career." Wally continues, "The balance of power has shifted. Unless I get what I want, I'll lower my performance until you get fired." The Boss responds, "Ha! There's no way you could lower your job performance." Wally says, "Curse your eyes!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1996's comic on:


Tags #software, #under contract, #methodology, #village meetings, #juggle, #elbonians, #slam out code, #go roller skating, #pig, #animals, #engineering

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Dilbert perches on a rock using a laptop. He says to two Elbonians, "Before I accept the software you wrote under contract, tell me what development methodology you use." One Elbonian says, "We hold village meetings to boast of our skills and curse the devil-spawned end-users." The other Elbonian adds, "Sometimes we juggle." The first Elbonian continues, "At the last minute we slam out some code and go roller skating." Dilbert says, "I would find this humorous if not for the pig on my back." A pig clings to Dilbert lovingly.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 1996's comic on:


Tags #phil, #prince insufficient light, #spreme ruler, #hideous fates sins, #high pay, #eternal poverty, #useful, #appreciated, #current job, #telecommuting

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Phil the Ruler of Heck watches Dilbert and thinks, "My next victim." Phil says, "I am Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light and Supreme Ruler of Heck!!" Dilbert sits at his desk and replies, "Hi, Phil." Phil says, "You must choose one of these two hideous fates to pay for your sins." Phil continues, "You can choose eternal high pay, but all of your work will be burned in front of you at the end of each day . . ." Phil continues, "Or you can choose eternal poverty, but your work will be useful and appreciated." Dilbert says, "WOW! They're BOTH better than my current job!" Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, you might want to get in on this!" Wally confesses, "I watch tv when I'm supposed to be telecommuting." Phil thinks, "I hate the nineties." Dilbert waves his hand and says, "Do me first!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #tips from headquarters, #long distance, #short words, #cheap boss, #save money, #dumb ideas, #swiss trip, #curse words

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The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Here are some money-saving tips from headquarters." The Boss reads from a list, "'When calling long distance, use short words." The Boss continues to read, "'If everyone did this, our fifty-billion dollar company could save nine hundred dollars per year.'" The Boss reads, "'Tip two: For faxes, use Sans Serif fonts. They transmit faster. Annual saving could exceed three hundred dollars." The Boss says, "Next item on the agenda, remember I'll be in Switzerland next week on a fact-finding trip." The Boss continues, "If you need to call me at my four star hotel, be sure to use short words." Dilbert whispers to Alice, "You might want to save those short words until he's on his clue-finding trip." The Boss stands in his hotel room in Switzerland. He holds the phone and listens to someone cursing on the other end. He says, "Those are NOT all short words."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #family freindly, #policy, #childless people, #tax, #child care, #lower profit sharing, #time off, #pick up slack, #victim

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Dilbert tells Alice, "This so-called 'Family Friendly' policy is like a tax on childless people." Dilbert continues, "You get child-care; I get lower profit-sharing. YOU get time off for family; I get to pick up your slack . . ." Dilbert says, "I'm a victim, but in some strange way I'm enjoying it." Alice makes a fist and rolls up her sleeve. She says, "Then you'll love this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1997's comic on:


Tags #reverse psychology, #goal, #opposite of wants, #space shuttle launch, #alice desk

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Alice is angry and walks away from Mordac. She says, "I'm not using reverse psychology! I really don't need anything from the information technology department." Mordac follows. Mordac shakes his fist and says, "Curse you! You know our goal is to give you the opposite of what you want. If you want nothing, we must give you everything!" Dilbert stands behind Alice at her computer. He clasps his hands together and begs, "Please tell me how you got them to do this." Alice's computer is heaped with gadgets: satelitte dish, hard drives, video cameroas, modems, etc. Alice says, 'Watch me launch the space shuttle!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #gullible fool, #sens anonymous letter, #curse of dogbert, #future senders, #chain letters, #wally flinch

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Swami Doghbert is at the staff meeting with Dilbert, The Boss and Wally. He wears a turban wth a cresent moon on it and says, "I've been hired to find the gullible fool who continues to send anonymous chain letters to everyone." Dogbert waves his hands in the air and says, "I place the Curse of Dogbert on all past and future senders of chain letters." The Boss looks like Dogbert (dog ears and dog nose) and says, "I think I saw Wally flinch." Dogbert and Dilbert stare at him.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 25, 1998's comic on:


Tags #email chain letter, #will die, #curse of dogbert, #certain death, #curse, #turns into dogs

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Asok is sitting at his computer terminal and thinks, "Oh no! I got an e-mail chain letter. It says I'll die if I don't send it to ten more people." Asok thinks, "But if I forward the message, the Curse of Dogbert will be upon me." Asok looks like Dogbert, as do Alice and Wally (dog ears and dog nose). Asok says, "...So, I figured a curse is better than certain death, right?" Wally says, "Spank you very much." Alice puts her hands on her hips and looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #dogbert curse, #sends chain letter, #die if didnt, #worlds smartest garbageman, #send chain letters

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Dilbert has been struck by the Curse of Dogbert. He has Dogbert's ears and nose. Dilbert says to the garbage man, "...And the Dogbert Curse strikes anyone who sends a chain letter. But the letter said I'd die if I didn't." Dilbert continues, "You're the world's smartest garbage man. How would you handle this?" The garbage man shoves a bag of trash into the garbage truck. Dilbert walks up to Dogbert dressed as a garbage man, but still looking like Dogbert. He says, "Did you know there's also a Garbage Man's Curse for people who send chain letters?" Swami Dogbert wears his turban and wags his tail.