Video Conference Call Comic Strips - Page 2
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Dilbert and Dogbert sit outdoors. Dilbert says, "And another of life's mysteries is, why do they call it the 'Great Wall of China?'" Dilbert continues, "It never really kept any invading armies out . . . Kind of a dismal flop from an engineering perspective." Dogbert says, "I don't think 'The Dismal Flop of China' would have the same tourist appeal." Dilbert replies, "I wouldn't pay to see it."
Dilbert and three people sit at a conference table. A man asks, "Well, Dilbert, will our idea work from a technical perspective?" Dilbert thinks, "I wasn't listening . . . Now I'll have to babble about irrelevant technical things until they lose consciousness." The people are all asleep. Dilbert says, "And in conclusion, never underestimate the power of technology."
The caption says, "Dogbert plays a reckless prank with Dilbert's prototype 'hot line' to the Kremlin." Dogbert sits at a desk and says into the telephone, "Hey Gorby, did you hear this quote . . ." Dogbert quotes, "Communism is the most painful path between capitalism and capitalism." Dogbert says, "'Fire one?' Ha ha ha . . . What a kidder you are."
Dilbert, who is wearing his bathrobe, says into the telephone, "That's right . . . cough-cough! . . . I won't be in to work . . . cough-wheeze-cough . . ." Dilbert continues, "Bad cold? Well, no, actually I have a bad headache . . ." Dilbert continues, "But I don't know how to make a headache sound over the phone."
Dilbert sits at a table examining a device. Dilbert says, "I'm afraid I'll never figure out how to make my invention work." Dogbert says, "You are too logical. Use the right side of your brain." Dilbert says, "Hmm . . . Yes, I must call on my creative side . . ." Dilbert puts the gadget on the table, hangs his head and says, "Now it doesn't work AND I want to cry."
Dogbert shuffles down the hallway thinking, "I can feel the static electricity building . . ." Dogbert shuffles back and forth and his fur begins to stand up. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "I most certainly will NOT call you 'Thor, Dog of Thunder.'" Dogbert says, "Prepare to die."
Dilbert stands at the front of the room giving a presentation. A man sitting at the conference table says, "Be candid, Dilbert. We have a corporate philosophy that says we 'don't shoot the messenger.'" Dilbert replies, "Good." Dilbert points to a diagram and says, "Had you consulted with the engineering department, you never would have launched such an ill-conceived product." Dilbert continues, "It is doomed to fail. You will all be humiliated and probably fired." A woman holding a rifle shouts, "Can't I just wing him?!!" A man says, "No, Eileen, that's not our philosophy." Dilbert arrives at home with tar and feathers on his body. He tells Dogbert, "It turns out the corporate philosophy is a very flexible document." Dogbert says, "You're getting tar on the carpet."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch looking through a photo album. Dilbert says, "Here's a picture of my uncle just before he was drafted. He was awarded eleven purple hearts." Dogbert asks, "He was wounded eleven times?!" Dilbert replies, "Uncle William insisted that his friends call him 'Will' . . ." Three soldiers kneel in a trench. A commanding officer yells, "Okay, men, fire at will!!" and the other soldiers look at Will.
Dilbert picks up the phone and says, "Hello?" A voice says, "This is your bank." The voice says, "We're having trouble meeting payroll . . . Could you come down and make some deposits right away?" Dilbert asks, "Will you take a check?" The person asks, "From YOU?"
Dogbert asks the garbage man, "Mister Garbage Man, what is life?" The garbage man replies, "Well, Dogbert . . ." The garbage man continues, "Life is like old cantaloupe rinds wrapped in a faded newspaper and sprinkled with wet coffee grounds." Dogbert asks, "Life is garbage?" The garbage man replies, "Call me a romantic."