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Dogbert stands at a desk writing on a piece of paper. Dilbert asks, "What's all the writing for?" Dogbert replies, "It's called 'affirmations.'" Dogbert explains, "The theory is that if you write down your objective fifteen times a day, the objective will be achieved, no matter how unlikely." Dilbert reads the affirmation and says, "But you've written 'Dilbert will be eaten by a garden slug.'" Dogbert replies, "It's all I could think of."
Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "I'm enjoying the new informal approach at the White House." Dogbert continues, "I just hope it doesn't embarrass us in the international community." A White House aide stands in front of the President's desk next to Gumby. The President says, "Doggone it, I told you to set up a meeting with GORBY!" The aide thinks, "What's a Gorby?"
Dogbert sits on the hassock watching television. The voice on the tv says, "Dust. Where does it come from? How does it get under your bed?" The announcer continues, "Is it a natural phenomenon or a message to ancient astronauts?" The announcer continues, "Tomorrow on 'Geraldo,' 'Dust: What's It All Mean?" Dogbert says, "It means you're pretty much out of topics."
Dogbert sits on his pillow playing a guitar. Dilbert asks, "What's all the racket?" Dogbert replies, "I'm singing the 'greens.'" Dilbert asks, "Is that like the 'blues?'" Dogbert replies, "Same beat, just not so darned depressing." Dogbert sings, "Oooh . . . My car needs a tune up and I overslept ten minutes baaabee . . ."
Dilbert says into the telephone, "Hello, is this the library reference desk?" A voice answers, "Yes." Dilbert asks, "What's the average running speed of the Tazmanian Boola-Boola dog?" The librarian replies, "8.3 miles per hour." Dilbert looks at the phone and says, "I can't believe she knew that." The librarian says, "And you have something stuck in your teeth."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a desk. Dilbert says, "I programmed the computer to predict what people will be like in 200 years." Dogbert asks, "What assumptions are you making?" Dilbert replies, "It's based on trends in today's youth." Dilbert explains, "For example, we know that science skills are declining, more kids are overweight, and selfishness is rising." In the year 2190, three huge people float in midair. One person says, "I heard that Bobby exploded." Another replies, "I wonder why that keeps happening." The third person says, "Who cares? More for us."
Dilbert, Dogbert and an old woman sit on a park bench. The old woman says, "Men don't whistle at me anymore." The woman continues, "I credit the women's movement for making men more sensitive to how whistling degrades women." As Dilbert gets up to leave, Dogbert asks the woman, "What's the climate like on your planet?"
Dawn the Dinosaur asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's wrong, Bob?" Bob replies, "I can't deny my feelings anymore." Dawn leans out the window and says, "Not the roof again!" Bob climbs up the gutter on the side of the house and says, "I have to tell people." Bob stands on the roof and yells, "I can't tell the difference between Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings!!!"
Dilbert arrives at home and asks Bob the Dinosaur, "What's this business of you climbing on the roof and shouting when I'm at work?" Dawn the Dinosaur stands next to Bob. Bob replies, "Sorry. We dinosaurs have always been bad at concealing our feelings . . . In fact . . ." Bob continues, "Honesty caused the extinction of many early species." A large dinosaur holds a small dinosaur. The small animal says, "Don't let the spines fool you; I'm great eating!"
Dogbert walks on the sidewalk. A man in a car pulls up next to him and asks, "Hey dog! What's the quickest way to go to the hospital?" Dogbert replies, "Drive as fast as you can into that tree." The driver asks, "What's the second quickest way?" Dogbert replies, "Hmm . . . Well, go left, then right, right, left, left, left, right, left, left." The says, "Thanks!" as he drives away. Dogbert thinks, "Actually, I have no idea how to get to the hospital . . ." Dogbert thinks, "But I didn't want him to think I'm a jerk."