Adopt Them Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

12 Results for Adopt Them

View 11 - 12 results for adopt them comic strips. Discover the best "Adopt Them" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #acquired benefits, #adopt program, #blend benefits progarm, #blending, #evil director, #maternity leave, #merger approved, #smokers

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "The merger has been approved." The Boss continues, "Our evil director of human resources will blend the acquired company's benefits with our own." Alice, Dilbert, and Wally cry, "WAAA! WAAA! WAAA!" The Boss thinks, "Apparently they know what blending means." Catbert says to the other HR director, "Let's see... My company offers six months of maternity leave for mothers." The other HR director replies, "We treat 'em like smokers. They have to squat in the parking lot for 10 minutes then go back to work." Catbert says, "That's very evil.. We'll adopt your program." The other HR director responds, "Thanks." The Boss reads the new benefits plan. He asks, "What is 'draining?' Catbert responds, "Our company called it training."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #zombies, #squash, #creativity, #facial, #expression, #comprehension, #marketing, #fear

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert stands in front of an audience and says, "The successful zombie knows how to squash the creativity of co-workers." Dogbert points to a picture of a man with bags under his eyes and says, "When you hear a new idea, adopt a facial expression which conveys both fear and an utter lack of comprehension." Dogbert continues, "Those of you who work in marketing only need to add the fear part." Someone asks, "Why is that?"