Ask Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

413 Results for Ask

View 11 - 20 results for ask comic strips. Discover the best "Ask" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thought Leader

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Thought Leader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, calendar, assistant, leader, delegation, thought, work, hands

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: ask my assistant to put it on my calendar. dilbert: why can't you just put it on your calendar right now? boss: i'm more of a thought leader. i don't like to work with my hands.

Boss Bluffs On Blockchain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Bluffs On Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, blockchain, byte, code, consensus, bluff

View Transcript

Transcript

boss in meeting: i'm no expert on blockchain, but i think... we need to get the evm stack on the bytecode so we don't run into a consensus fork. boss to ted: did that mean anything? ted: don't ask me. i'm bluffing too.

Ted Takes Selfie With Bear

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ted Takes Selfie With Bear  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, selfie, picture, wild, bear, success, techology, business, face mask

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: did you hear ted took a selfie with a wild bear? dilbert: wow. where can i see that picture? wally: you'd need to ask the bear. it didn't go well.

Study 5 G First

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 Study 5 G First  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, technology, business, 5g, dangerous, study, research, reporter

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i need you to respond to this reporter who thinks our 5g technology is dangerous. dilbert: is it dangerous? boss: how would i know? dilbert: maybe i should study it first. boss: never mind. i'll ask someone else.

Boss Doesn't Understand

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
  Boss Doesn't Understand - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, technology, server, migration, difficult, understand, question, face maks

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: can you finish the server migration by monday? dilbert: no way. boss: how hard can it be? dilbert: you only say that about things you don't understand. boss: i ask that question every day. dilberty: yup.

No Talk About Morale

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 No Talk About Morale - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, managers & supervisors, sarcasm, morale, talk, engagement, workplace, culture, happy, question, covid, pandemic

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert and boss wearing face masks. dilbert: i've noticed that we used to talk about employee morale... but now we talk about "engagement" and "workplace culture." why is that? boss: we found out it doesn't matter if you are happy. dilbert: remind me to never ask another question.

Why Use Tests

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Use Tests - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags diseases, health & safety, medical, office workers, sarcasm, pandemic, virus, diagnose

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: No face mask? Boss: I have antibodies for the virus. I'm pretty sure I had the virus last January when I had a throat tickle. Dilbert: I wonder why virus test kits exist when we can just ask people if they had it. Boss: I was wondering the same.

Human Walking This Way

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Human Walking This Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coronavirus, exercise, fish, health, human, social distancing, walking, water

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.

Asok Confidence

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok Confidence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags asok, business, co-workers, confidence, enough, fake, room, test

View Transcript

Transcript

ask: you know what's wrong with this room? not enough of me in it. that's what. dilbert: are you testing your fake confidence? asok: is it working?

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Dogbert, slump, sales, clone, product, shoddy, mind, control, legal, notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.