Award Comic Strips - Page 2
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74 Results for Award
View 11 - 20 results for award comic strips. Discover the best "Award" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 16,
2015
Wally Uses Tropy For Credibility
Tags trophy, labels, credibility, employee of the year, awards, award, deception
Transcript
Wall: I use my "Employee of the Year" trophy for my coffee now because it gives me instant credibility. Dilbert: I don't see how. Wally: People are not deep. Man: That's the dumbest thing anyone's ever... oh, sorry. Didn't see your trophy.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday April 01,
2015
World's Greatest Economist
Tags coincidence, deception, economist, economy, money, random jargon, art, science
Transcript
Dilbert: You are being hailed as the best economist of our age because your random jargon turned out to mean something. Wally: That's nice, but as a professional economist, I only care if there is a cash award. Dilbert: The world's greatest economist should already be rich. Wally: It's more art than science.
Tuesday October 21,
2014
Tags managers, managers & supervisors, morale, robots, problems, lying, spectacular job, award randomly, in charge, robot boss, temporary, employees, oversight, business
Transcript
Boss: Did you have any problems filling in for me while I was on vacation? Robot: It was hard at first. I couldn't tell who was lying about doing a spectacular job. Boss: That's why I reward them randomly. Robot: I tried that and it did seem to settle them down.
Wednesday May 28,
2014
Tags good attitude award, stupid award, screamed, nominated, award, peer voting, next month, employees, boss, business
Transcript
Boss: Alice, you've been nominated by your peers for the "good attitude award." Alice: Get out of here with your stupid, useless award!!! Boss: Maybe I shouldn't let peers do the voting. Wally: I like her odds to win again next month.
Sunday December 01,
2013
Tags competition (psychology), thinking, ceos technology challenge, innovative ideas, fresh water, elbonia, award winning ideas, water in a box
Transcript
CEO: I'm proud to announce the winner in the CEO's technology challenge. Two weeks ago, I challenged you to come up with innovative ideas for getting fresh water to Elbonia. The winner is someone named Wally. Wally's idea for bringing fresh water to Elbonia is... "in a box." That's the best one? Boss: We only had one entry. CEO: I hate your bald guts. Wally: I get that a lot. If you need me, I'll be in my cubicle thinking up award-winning ideas.
Thursday August 22,
2013
Tags actors & actresses, contests, work ethic, academy award, convincing portrayl, dishonor, nominated
Transcript
Computer: Dear Wally, You have been nominated for an academy award... for your convincing portrayal of an employee who does actual work. Dilbert: Do you think you'll win? Wally: It's a dishonor just to be nominated.
Sunday May 19,
2013
Tags work ethic, replacing system, outdated, gamification, hot new trend, employees wins, badges, ribbons, awrds, cash value, garbage, emotional value
Transcript
Boss: We're replacing our outdated system of annual performance reviews. The new system is called Gramification. It's a hot new trend. Employees can win badges, ribbons, and awards for completing tasks. Dilbert: Can we opt for the cash value of those badges, ribbons, and awards? Boss: They don't have any cash value. Dilbert: Oh. Like garbage? Boss: No, not like garbage! Except in the narrow sense of having no functional, economic, or emotional value. Garbage is something you throw away. Dilbert: Hand me an award and watch carefully.
Tuesday February 26,
2013
Tags mathematics, patents, patent infreingement, jury duty, award
Transcript
Lawyer: A small company is suing us for patent infringement. We'll be fine unless the court somehow finds twelve citizens who aren't smart enough to get out of jury duty yet are inexplicably able to do math. Juror: We recommend an award of whatever the square root of 22 over zero is.
Monday February 20,
2012
Tags charity, bottle caps, fund, chemo, pro children, snopes.com, internet hoax, award mug
Transcript
CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.
Sunday May 29,
2011
Tags business ethics, quarreling, major fix, html, website, award, improves morale, glaoting, winner, technology
Transcript
Boss: This award goes to Dilbert for coming up with a major fix to our HTML. Dilbert: I didn't do anything like that. You must be thinking of someone else. Do you even know what HTML is? Boss: It's like... a website? Dilbert: So... you're giving an award for something you don't understand... to someone who wasn't involved? Boss: What I meant to say is that I give this award to... Alice... for... what she did. Alice: Yes! Envy me, you stinkin' losers! Boss: I don't know why people say this improves morale. Asok: I fixed the HTML!