Bad Decision Maker Comic Strips - Page 2
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788 Results for Bad Decision Maker
View 11 - 20 results for bad decision maker comic strips. Discover the best "Bad Decision Maker" comics from Dilbert.com.
Friday March 05,
2021
Think About Long Term
Tags #business, #technology, #long term, #dynamics, #reasonable, #random, #decision, #job, #employment
Transcript
office worker: we need to think longer term about how all of these dynamics play out. dilbert: sounds reasonable. what exactly were we doing before? office worker: i can't speak for anyone else, but i was making random decisions and hoping i'd change jobs before anyone found out.
Saturday February 20,
2021
Tricking Employees
Tags #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #reward, #business, #performance, #punish, #good, #bad, #work, #tricking, #employment
Transcript
catbert to boss: you've tried rewarding good performance and punishing bad. but have you tried tricking employees into working hard? boss: no, can you teach me? catbert to asok: remember, hard work is its own reward. asok: is it?
Friday February 12,
2021
Gaming The System
Tags #business, #decision, #managers & supervisors, #sarcasm, #technology, #wrong, #believe, #system, #project
Transcript
boss: ted says you are making all the wrong technology decisions on your project. dilbert: why do you believe him? boss: because he's the last person i talked to. dilbert: but now you're talking to me. boss: stop trying to game the system.
Wednesday February 10,
2021
Virus From Where
Tags #business, #health & safety, #office workers, #virus, #beard, #fuzzy, #hat, #country, #release, #luxembourg, #elbonian
Transcript
dilbert: there's a new virus that kills everyone who doesn't have a beard and a tall, fuzzy hat. wally: what country would release a virus like that? elbonian man: i'm hearing bad things about luxembourg.
Friday January 29,
2021
Alice Needs A Snack
Tags #decision, #managers & supervisors, #meeting, #break, #hungry, #snack
Transcript
alice: i'm too hungry to make good decisions. i need a break so i can eat a snack. boss: how do you know your decisions are bad? alice: i'm starting to agree with you. boss: i don't understand. alice is gone: exactly
Wednesday January 27,
2021
Doing Nothing Is A Decision
Tags #business, #harsh, #hate, #lazy, #managers & supervisors, #progress, #projects, #sarcasm, #technology
Transcript
boss with laptop and on video chat: wally, it seems that once again you have made no progress on any of your projects. wally: it looks that way from the outside but what you have to understand is that not doing something is also a decision. boss: i literally hate talking to you. wally: harsh.
Sunday January 24,
2021
Bad Qualities Cancel Out
Tags #business, #business ethics, #managers & supervisors, #qualities, #character, #cancel, #micro-manage, #lazy, #backstabbing, #brave, #lie, #credibility, #believe, #employees, #success, #manager, #random, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: all of my bad qualities see to be canceling each other out. for example, i want to micro-manage my staff, bi=ut i'm too lazy. and i want to do some corporate backstabbing, but i'm not that brave. i enjoy lying, and i'd like to do more of it, but my credibility is so low that no one believes me. i want to mock my employees for their mistakes, but i don't understand enough about what they do to know when they are doing it wrong. i want to take credit for the successes of my employees, but i don't give them enough support to succeed. carol: our set just called. he says he is naming you the manager of the year. boss: he must be deeply uninformed. carol: yes, but he's also lazy, so he pocked you randomly.
Friday December 18,
2020
Bad Attitude
Tags #business, #technology, #work, #exceptional, #complain, #attitude, #bad, #dislike, #sarcasm
Transcript
boss: your work has been exceptional, but people are complaining about your attitude. dilbert: aren't the people who are doing the complaining usually the ones with bad attitudes. boss: they think you dislike them. dilbert: i do, but i have a terrific attitude about it.
Thursday December 10,
2020
Pick Midpoint
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #projections, #accurate, #random, #guess, #midpoint, #decision
Transcript
bos: which of your two projections do you think is more accurate? dilbert: they are both random guesses. i made two of them to create an illusion of a credible range. boss: so...would it be reasonable to pick the midpoint? dilbert: it's as reasonable as your other decisions.
Saturday October 31,
2020
Where To Go To Lunch
Tags #business, #co-workers, #feelings, #invitation, #lunch, #psychology, #social, #thai place, #hungry
Transcript
dilbert: where do you want to go to lunch? tina: i want you to suggest a place so i can say yes but still make you feel bad about it. dilbert: how about the thai place? tina: pffft. sure. i'm not that hungry anyway.