Bill Gates Comic Strips - Page 2
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43 Results for Bill Gates
View 11 - 20 results for bill gates comic strips. Discover the best "Bill Gates" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday August 15,
2005
Tags #estate plan, #fastest worker, #flashback, #lawyer, #will, #legal
Transcript
i was the worlds fastest worker. My big mistake was becoming a lawyer, Flashback: Do you think I need an estate plan? Heres your will and heres my bill for 9 cents,
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday June 14,
2005
Tags #bill for consulting, #past year, #all in head, #recommendation, #status quo, #everything right
Transcript
Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."
Thursday March 10,
2005
Tags #things that don't kill, #great minds, #think alike, #spilt milk, #different findings
Transcript
Wally: "Have you ever noticed that the things that don't kill you make you weaker?" "And great minds don't think alike. If they did, the patent office would only have about fifty inventions." "I started getting suspicious when I cried over spilt milk and the cashier took it off my bill"
Thursday November 04,
2004
Tags #bottle neck bill, #do his job, #miscellaneous
Transcript
Dilbert: "I need your help forcing Bottleneck Bill to do his job so I can do my job." "I'll be all over that... as soon as I finish other things." "What other things?" "Well, for example, miscellaneous."
Wednesday November 03,
2004
Tags #bottle neck bill, #philosophy, #worth doing, #worth delaying
Transcript
Bottleneck Bill perhaps you're wondering why I haven't answered your emails. Bill: My philopshy is that anything worth doing is worth delating. Dilbert: Plus you look like that. Bill: Like what?
Tuesday January 06,
2004
Tags #cell phone bill, #expense, #award, #speech, #lost cell phone, #low bill, #company phone
Transcript
"The expense cutters award goes to Wally for drastically lowering his cell phone bill." "Wally, would you like to say a few words to the group?" "I lost my phone last month. Hey, thanks for the hundred dollars!"
Thursday November 06,
2003
Tags #new guy, #new hire, #bottleneck, #bill, #titanium
Transcript
Bottleneck Bill Bottlkeneck Bill: All purchase orders must be approved by me. I'll be too busy to approve anything but at least we have the system. Its titanium. Nice try. Alice: GRRRRR
Wednesday November 05,
2003
Tags #too busy, #bottleneck, #document, #desk, #office
Transcript
"I can't do any more work on my project until you give your input, but you're too busy." "There's no polite way to say this: Bill, you're a bottleneck." "Your document is now saying hi to the bottom of the pile."
Saturday April 27,
2002
Tags #management decision, #too distarcted, #make informed decison, #random, #no answer
Transcript
Dilbert says to The Boss, "...And that's why I need a management decision." The Boss says, "Hi, Bill!" Dilbert says, "But you are too distracted to make an informed decision, so this will be random." The Boss says, "Bob!" Dilbert says, "And here it comes." The Boss replies, "Would 'No' be an answer to anything you said?"
Saturday January 06,
2001
Tags #give away prodcut, #for free, #deinstall it, #bill customers, #consumer despaitations
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "My plan is to give away our product for free." The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "We'll only bill customers who ask us to deinstall it." Wally and Dilbert continue looking on impassively as The Boss continues, "For once, those reports of consumer decapitations will work in our favor."