Block Of Wood Comic Strips - Page 2
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41 Results for Block Of Wood
View 11 - 20 results for block of wood comic strips. Discover the best "Block Of Wood" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 12,
2015
Tell Everyone You Are Writing A Novel
Tags writer, reputation, writing, novel, peer pressure, motivation, frustration, writers block
Transcript
Dilbert: I'm telling everyone I'm writing a novel. That way I can leverage the invisible hand of social influence to motivate me for the next year. Alice: Have you written anything yet? Dilbert: Stop badgering me!!!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday August 11,
2015
No Progress On Writing The Novel
Tags writing, writer, talent, frustration, writers block, self esteem, self deprecation, depression, psychology
Transcript
Dogbert: How's your novel coming along? Dilbert: I'm off to a slow start. All I did this week is stare at a blank screen and feel bad about my lack of talent. Dogbert: Maybe try writing something. Dilbert: I have to think that would make things worse.
Tuesday October 18,
2011
Tags copyright & trademark, inventions, competitor suing, albanian court, design trademark, block manufacturing, shaped like rectangle, design shapes, irregular mole
Transcript
Man: Our competitor is suing us in an Elbonian court for some sort of design trademark violation. They're trying to block us from manufacturing anything shaped like a rectangle. Boss: What design shapes are available? Man: Only one, assuming "irregular mole" is a shape.
Sunday September 25,
2011
Tags competition (psychology), goals for the year, assignments, average raise, invent nuclear fusion, lack of knowledge
Transcript
Boss: I'm getting writer's block trying to come up with your goals for the year. Dilbert: Just write anything. We both know I'll ignore the goals and work on whatever you assign to me. Boss: How will I know if you do a good job if you don't have goals? Dilbert: Same way as always. You'll compare your lack of knowledge about what I did to the goals you imagine you might have created if you could have seen the future. Then you'll give me an average raise just like everyone else who didn't invent nuclear fusion. Boss: Works for me. Dilbert: It's better to not overthink these things.
Saturday August 27,
2011
Tags fighting, trees, ambassador of trees, crimes against wood, excessive printing, copying, biting, bark is worse
Transcript
Tree: I am the ambassador of trees. You are accused of crimes against wood for your excessive printing and copying. Dilbert: And then he started biting me. Dogbert: His bark is worse.
Monday November 22,
2010
Tags get coffee, answer question, block exit, stuck, airvent, game, feet
Transcript
Coworker says, "Wally do you have a minute?" Wally says, "Nope I'm far too busy." Coworker says, "I'm blocking the only exit. You have no choice but to answer my question." Coworker says, "I blocked the air vent too." Wally says, "Well played."
Thursday September 23,
2010
Tags pitchman, new product, salesman, block of wood, machine, rays, reality distortion, stand on stool, consumers
Transcript
Dogbert the Pitchman Dogbert says, "Fire up the reality distortion field as soon as I'm introduced." Dogbert says, "Our product is nothing but a block of wood, and yet you need three of them." Man says, "I am a creative individual who does as he is told." Man 2 says, "I can't feel my arm!"
Wednesday September 22,
2010
Tags new product, block of wood, ceo, salesman, high forehead, inneundo, leader
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Your product is nothing but a piece of wood. You need a charismatic pitchman to make gullible consumers buy it." Dogbert says, "Normally that would be your job as CEO. Unfortunately, you remind people of a giant?" CEO says, "Leader?" Dogbert says, "Exactly."
Tuesday September 21,
2010
Tags new product, front, meeting, block of wood, cell phone, network, cool, business, technology
Transcript
Dogbert says, "Our new product is a useless block of wood." Dogbert says, "When customers complain that it won't make phone calls, we'll blame the network." The Boss says, "Who would want? whoa, this is cool." Dogbert says, "You'd be lucky to have one."

