Boss Doubts Dilbert Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Boss Doubts Dilbert

View 11 - 20 results for boss doubts dilbert comic strips. Discover the best "Boss Doubts Dilbert" comics from Dilbert.com.

Mandatory Blockchain Class

Thank you for voting.
Mandatory Blockchain Class - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 15, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #class, #mandatory, #blockchain, #introductory, #experienced, #developer, #instructor, #phone call

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: you haven't completed the mandatory class on blockchain. dilbert: that's an introductory class. i'm already an experienced blockchain developer. boss: the class is mandatory. every developer needs to check the box. dilbert: just check the box for me. boss: only the instructor can do that. and i don't want to call him because he rambles on and on. dilbert looking distressed: you want me to take a two-day class so you won't have to make a phone call? boss: i knew you'd understand. dilbert: what if taking the class causes me to miss my deadlines? boss: no problem. i'll just cancel your bonus.

Transfer Money To The Rich

Thank you for voting.
Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2020's comic on:


Tags #computer, #technology, #cloud, #social, #change, #transfer, #money, #low-income, #rich, #wrong, #efficient

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Personal Health Data

Thank you for voting.
Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 13, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Selling Private Data

Thank you for voting.
Selling Private Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 12, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #job, #management, #cloud, #data, #people, #private, #information, #laugh, #market, #sell, #email, #friend

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: the only reason i took a job managing cloud data is so i could laugh at people's private information. dogbert: then i discovered a robust market for selling that kind of stuff, so it's a twofer. dilbert: we need to talk. dogbert: sure. just email your thoughts to a friend, and i'll probably read them.

Recreational Data

Thank you for voting.
Recreational Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 2020's comic on:


Tags #buisness, #management, #managing, #cloud, #personal, #information, #laugh, #legal, #recreation

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

Thank you for voting.
Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #money, #die, #ghost, #password, #bitcoin, #clothes

View Transcript

Transcript

boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Dogbert In The Cloud

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert In The Cloud   - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 09, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #personal, #information, #cloud, #safe, #worry, #trust, #manage, #system, #browser, #history

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'm concerned that storing my personal information in the cloud is not safe. dilbert: don't be such a worrier. i'm sure we can trust the people who manage those systems to keep us safe. somewhere in the cloud dogbert: hee-hee! look at the browser history on this bunion-having loser.

Elbonian Consultant

Thank you for voting.
Elbonian Consultant - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 08, 2020's comic on:


Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #consultant, #elbonia, #people, #local, #problem, #distribution, #execute, #Opinion, #barber

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i hired an elbonian consultant because we couldn't afford anyone local. dilbert: have you ever consulted in this country? elbonian consultant: no, but people are people, so i assume it isn't that different from elbonia. boss: that's enough chitchat. tell us what we should do about the problems in our distribution system. elbonian system: i recommend executing one of your distributors as a warning to the others. boss: i'm going to need a second opinion. elbonian consultant: my second opinion is that your barber must hate your guts.

Compilation Video

Thank you for voting.
Compilation Video  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 07, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #useful, #video, #co-workers, #incompetent, #comparision, #meeting, #compile

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: you think i didn't do anything useful this year. so i made a compilation video of my co-workers being incompetent in meetings for comparison. boss: at least they are trying. wally: as you can see, maybe they shouldn't.

Judging By Looks

Thank you for voting.
Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2020's comic on:


Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.