Broke Comic Strips - Page 2
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37 Results for Broke
View 11 - 20 results for broke comic strips. Discover the best "Broke" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday February 03,
2013
Tags anger, angry, hateful creature, hope, interviews, job interview, managers & supervisors, monster, optimisim, smile, toxic work place, business
Transcript
Boss: You remind me of another young person I hired years ago. She was full of hope and optimism and she wore a permanent smile. Her name was Alice. As time passed, she devolved into an angry, hateful creature. No one knows what caused it. Interviewee: How long did it take? Boss: About a week. Interviewee: Apparently, you're a monster who creates a toxic workplace and you lack the self-awareness to realize it! Boss: Someone broke your record. Alice: Shut up.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday October 04,
2010
Tags coworker, human resources, sit on table, broke arm, bandage, alice, angry, engineer, math, education, business, engineering
Transcript
Coworker says, "Alice broke my arm. You need to do something about this." Catbert says, "Okay. I'll compare Alice's economic value to yours and decide who to fire." Coworker says, "No fair! She's an engineer!" Catbert says, "You got beat up by someone who is also better at math?"
Monday October 26,
2009
Tags presentation, pandemic, illess, punching, scared, reassurance
Transcript
Pandemic Planning Asok says, "In the worst-case scenario, the only survivors would be cockroaches and Alice." Pow! Pow! Pow! Alice says, "Airborne virus. It's safe now. I broke it's proteing coat."
Monday September 28,
2009
Tags negotiating, broke, poor, economy, recession, comparison, exaggeration
Transcript
Negotiating in a bad economy The Boss says, "My company is so poor that we need a 20% price reduction or we'll go belly-up." Man says, "My company is so poor that our only chance of eating involves throwing office supplies at low-flying birds." The boss says, "Shall we say 10%?" Man says, "Our health plan is 'Screaming.'"
Saturday May 02,
2009
Friday May 01,
2009
Tags meeting, game, money, broke, correcting, sitting, business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Welcome to another round of 'If we had money.' I'll go first." Dilbert says, "If we had money, we could design and test new products." Asok says, "We could go to training." Dilbert says, "You forgot to say, 'If we had money'!"
Tuesday October 31,
2006
Sunday April 16,
2006
Tags broken chair, extra one, guest chair, unstable, broken chairs, upside down
Transcript
"My chair is broken. May I use your extra one?" "I don't have an extra chair." "Sure you do. It's right there." "That's not an extra chair. It's my guest chair." "Okay, whatever. The point is that the base broke off of my chair." "I can't sit on a chair that has no wheel base. It's unstable." "Stop being a baby. Just turn your chair upside-down and it will be totally stable." "When did your chair break?" "Last spring. You get used to it."
Monday December 12,
2005
Tags ran six miles, topper, hopped to work, broken leg, better, more better
Transcript
Topper "I ran six miles even though I was sore." "That's nothing." "I broke my leg and hopped all the way to work this morning." "You hopped 40 miles on your one good leg?" "On the broken one."
Sunday March 21,
2004
Tags market budget, horse purchase, top thoroughbread, broke leg, starting gate, shot horse, sponger sailboat, lunch, roast beef sandwhich, piece of lead
Transcript
"Our director of marketing will give us an update." "We spent our entire marketing budget buying a racehorse." "We named the horse after our flagship product because they're both fast, get it?" "Unfortunately we didn't have enough budget for a top thoroughbred." "Our horse broke its leg walking to the starting gate, so we shot it." "Next year we plan to sponsor a sailboat." "Anyway, your lunch today is brought to you by the marketing department." "Enjoy." "Hey, my roast beef sandwich has a piece of lead in it."
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