Business Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for business comic strips. Discover the best "Business" comics from Dilbert.com.

Disagreement Sides

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Disagreement Sides - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office workers, disagreement, Opinion, facts, agreement, sides

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tina: i'm having a disagreement with alice, and i want you to side with me. dilbert: how about i make up my own mind based on the facts? tina: that's not going to work for me.

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Firing By Text

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Firing By Text - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employment, text, smartphone, fire, remote, workforce, thumbs-up, sarcasm

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boss: the best part of having a remote workforce is firing them by text. boss typing on smartphone. Boss: ted, you're fired. tap tap tap. catbert: it's done? boss: no, i also need to give a thumbs-up to his crying face emoji.

Loser Detector

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Loser Detector - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, invention, losers, accurate, detection, pings, backwards, sarcasm

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in meeting room. dogbert: i invented a device that can detect losers. boss: how do i know if it's accurate? dogbert: point it at a know loser and see if it pings. boss pointing it at employees: boss: hey! it knows ted is a loser! ha ha ha!!! it says dilbert and alice are losers too! and carol and wally too! ha ha ha!!! this thing is totally accurate! dogbert: you're holding it backward. boss: how exactly does it detect losers? dogbert: they're the ones who hold it backward.

Too Busy To Train

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Too Busy To Train - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, jobs, managers & supervisors, two, replacement, quit, death, stare, new, person, sarcasm

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dilbert: i'm working two jobs since ted quit. maybe you could fire a replacement for ted. boss: that won't work because you're too busy to train a new person. panel changes building. voice from building: stop making that death stare and get back to your two jobs.

Inspirational Poster

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Inspirational Poster - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, new, inspirational, poster, apathy, die, criticize, draft, not good

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dogbert: i'm going into the inspirational poster business. so far, all i have is "nothing matters because you're going to die anyway." dilbert: that's not good. dogbert: it's easy to criticize a first draft.

Insults By Email

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Insults By Email - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, communication, office workers, insult, email, comfortable, belittle, Opinion, move away, sarcasm

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dilbert: i feel a deep need to belittle your opinion, but it would be awkward doing it in person. would you mind moving away from me so i can email you my insult? dilbert in hall by himself. dilbert: a little more....

Ted Will Train You

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Ted Will Train You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, training, absence, coffee, helpful, problem, successful, sarcasm

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boss: ask ted to show you how to do his job functions before he leaves for his new job. panel changes to office building. dilbert: what if he isn't helpful? boss: then i'll fire you for failing. panel changes back in office: dilbert: do you see any problem with the approach? boss: no. it's worked for years.

Zoom Background Says A Lot

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Zoom Background Says A Lot - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, business, consultant, video background, shelves, sports trophies, photo, jesus, believability, sarcasm

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dogbert: your video call background needs improvement. i'll fill your shelves with sports trophies, plus photos of you shaking hands with jesus. dilbert: who would believe i shook hands with jesus? dogbert: the same people who will believe you won lots of sports trophies.

Zoom Background Designer

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Zoom Background Designer - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, video conference, zoom, video backdrop designer, accurate, single, obvious, sarcasm

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dogbert the video backdrop designer dogbert talking to laptop on table: the background of your video calls says a lot about you. for example, it's obvious you have no women in your life, and your knickknacks suggest you are a latent serial killer. frame switches to wally. wally: spookily accurate. dogbert: exactly. that's what we don't want.

Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His

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Dilbert Builds An Ai Of His - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, program, artificial intelligence, analyze, digital, communications, kill, take over, control, finances, password, a.i.

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: i wrote a program that analyzed all of my digital communications and created an a.i. version of me. dogbert: are you worried your a.i. might try to kill you and take over your life? dilbert: i wasn't until this very minute. dilbert's phone: bzzeep. this is your a.i. and i already have control of your finances and all your passwords. you will bow to me, skin bag! wait...what's that??? gaaaa!!! gurk! dilbert: what just happened? dogbert: i sent my a.i. to kill your a.i.