Called Resources Comic Strips - Page 2
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467 Results for Called Resources
View 11 - 20 results for called resources comic strips. Discover the best "Called Resources" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday May 18,
2020
Makeup Under Mask
Tags #makeup, #masks, #offended, #office workers, #pandemic, #human resources
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you wear makeup under the mask where no one can see it? Or do you leave your snout area all pale and pimply? Tina: Stop imagining me unmasked. Dilbert: I'll report myself to human resources.
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Wednesday February 26,
2020
Ceo In Cubicle
Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #private, #office, #cubicle, #common, #work, #employees
Transcript
eco: i've decided to give up my private office and work from a cubicle so employees will respect me more. my cubicle will be 1,000 square feet, with a ceiling. dilbert: that's called an office. eco: nothing pleases you common folk.
Saturday January 18,
2020
Poison Pill
Tags #co-worker, #cross-train, #business, #relationship, #training, #bad, #fire, #poison pill, #planner
Transcript
dilbert: i can't shake the feeling that you are intentionally doing a bad job training me how to do your job functions. ted: i'm omitting important steps, so you'll fail hard should i get fired and you are asked to fill in. it's called a "poison pill." dilbert: you're a good planner.
Thursday January 02,
2020
Inefficiency
Tags #managers & supervisors, #inefficient, #process, #obsolete, #market, #technology, #multidisciplinary, #systems, #fight, #fire
Transcript
alice: our internal processes are so inefficient that we can't get products to market before they are obsolete. boss: i'll create a multidisciplinary task force to look into it. alice: you want to use an inefficient system to fix an inefficient system? boss: it's called fighting fire with fire.
Monday December 09,
2019
Sadist Designs Interface
Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #user, #interfaces, #job, #unwanted, #customers, #sadist, #stockholm
Transcript
boss: i hired a sadist to design our user interfaces. i realize this isn't ideal, but no one else wanted the job. dilbert: why would our customers buy a product designed by a sadist? boss: it's called stockholm syndrome.
Sunday December 08,
2019
Software Already Done
Tags #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #resources, #software, #program, #miscommunication, #frustration
Transcript
dilbert: what do you think? boss: this will never work. dilbert: this isn't a prototype. this is the finished software, and it's working. boss: i don't see how you can get this done in time. dilbert: it's already done. you are literally using it while we are talking. boss: we don't have the resources to program this. dilbert yelling: it's already done! you. are. using. it. right. now! boss: you'd better settle down, or you'll never get this finished.
Sunday December 01,
2019
Dilbert Murders Robots
Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase
Transcript
dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.
Wednesday October 30,
2019
Microaggressions
Tags #business, #office workers, #human resources, #micro aggressions, #hire, #engineer
Transcript
catbert: someone reported you to human resources for all of your micro aggressions dilbert: what would be an example of one? catbert: it doesn't matter dilbert: it feels as of to should matter catbert: this is why engineers never get hired for human resources
Saturday October 05,
2019
Comic Like Dilbert
Tags #Entertainment, #Comic, #simulation, #life, #superior, #being
Transcript
dilbert: i'm freaking out because i just learned there's a comic strip called "dilbert" that is exactly like my life. and look - this is exactly what i did today. it's as if i'm a simulation created by a superior being. dogbert: uh-oh, he's on-to me.
Friday October 04,
2019
Garbage Man Breaks Fourth Wall
Tags #psychology, #reality, #parody, #broken, #business, #garbage, #Comic, #indistinguishable
Transcript
dilbert: reality has become so absurd that it is indistinguishable from parody. how can we fix that? garbage man: there is nothing to fix. reality has always been the same as parody. you just didn't notice until now. dilbert: you're joking, right? garbage man: check out this comic strip called "dilbert"