Charge Customers Comic Strips - Page 2

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281 Results for Charge Customers

View 11 - 20 results for charge customers comic strips. Discover the best "Charge Customers" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ron Moore

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Ron Moore - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, employees, insults, jokes, mistake, sales, customers

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Ron: Hi, I'm Ron Moore. Dilbert: Heh-heh. That's funny, because if you say your last name first, you're a "Moore, Ron". Okay, now I get why you never take me on sales calls.

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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Best Employees

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Best Employees - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, confused, employees, customer service

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CEO: We have the best employees in the industry! Dilbert: Then why are we ranked last in customer satisfaction? CEO: I blame our customers. Wally: Why can't they be awesome like us?

Zombie Projects

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Zombie Projects - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, zombie, sloth, fail, salary

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the boss: wally, i'm putting you in charge of all the zombie projects that refuse to die. the boss: i'm counting on your sloth and incompetence to finish them off, so management feels comfortable finally canceling them. the boss: as of today, i'm paying you to fail. wally: actually, this is just the first time you're aware of it.

First Time Doing Marketing

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First Time Doing Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, criminals, marketing, office

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dilbert, dogbert and the boss at conference room table. dogbert: your competition has a superior product, but you can compensate by branding them as evil. dilbert: we can say they charge too much. dogbert: or...we can say their leather cases are made from the skin of executed criminals. dilbert: but that would not be true. dogbert: first time doing marketing?

Elbonian Sales Video Assignment

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Elbonian Sales Video Assignment - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags culture, catch-22, misunderstanding, communication

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Boss: Dilbert, I'm putting you in charge of making a persuasive sales video for our Elbonian clients. Make sure you read their wikipedia page first so you understand the nuances of their culture. Wikipedia: In the Elbonian culture, showing someone a sales video is punishable by dead.

Changing Company Name

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Changing Company Name - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags hacker, hacking, privacy, facebook, retaliation, data, breach

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Boss: Our customers are complaining because we let hackers get their personal data. So we've decided to change the name of the company and wear disguises until it all blows over. Take a mustache from the bag and pass it around.

Massive Data Breach

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Massive Data Breach - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags data, facebook, privacy, apology, statement, big business, lying, damage control

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Dilbert: We had a massive data breach. Hackers got into the private data of all of our customers. Boss: No problem. We'll issue a press release that says we're sorry and it will never happen again. Dilbert: That's what we said the last three times it happened. Boss: Our strategy is to wear them down.

Customers Work For Free

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Customers Work For Free - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags test, big business, money, savings, obliviousness

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Alice: Did anyone test our user interface before we shipped it? Boss: No, our customers will tell us what they don't like about it. And they work for free. Alice: That isn't right. Boss: That's what our customers say, too, and unlike you, they work for free.

Bad User Interface

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Bad User Interface - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags user experience, interface, usability, menu, language

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Dilbert: Customers are complaining because our user interface is confusing. For example, our menu choice for deleting a file is labeled "save file." Boss: That's why we have a help menu. Dilbert: Our help menu is labeled "reformat hard drive."

Aggressive Littering

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Aggressive Littering - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags guilt, plea, charges, littering, murder, rich people, discrimination

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Dilbert: I thought you were going to jail for murdering the clients of your cryogenic investment firm. Dogbert: I argued that my clients were already dead. The judge reduced the charge to "aggressive littering." Dilbert: You kicked two-hundred unfrozen brains into the river. Dogbert: You sound just like that angry prosecutor.