Close Eyes Comic Strips - Page 2
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227 Results for Close Eyes
View 11 - 20 results for close eyes comic strips. Discover the best "Close Eyes" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 24,
2018
Tags distraction, procrastination, work ethic, excuses, productivity
Transcript
Dilbert: I have one hour to get some work done before my meeting. But I can't concentrate when i"m hungry, so I need a shack. This snack is making me thirsty. The label on this shirt is bugging me. I need to cut it off. Q quick trip to the restroom and then I can get down to work. Ugh. I have fifteen messages since I left my desk. Now it's too close to my meeting to start a new task. Dogbert: How's work? Dilbert: How would I know?
Saturday March 17,
2018
Moth Man Visits Alice
Tags conversation, annoyance, mothman, anger, frustration, workload
Transcript
Asok: The storytelling mothman you hired is keeping us from doing our work! He's in Alice's cubicle right now. Mothman: Gaaaa!!!! Asok: Sounds like he flew too close to the flame. Boss: Problem solved.
Sunday March 04,
2018
Tags add code, corporate scamming, darkest day, designed new prodcut, draft apology, engineering success, make unrelaible, no upgarde, press release, ten years
Transcript
Dilbert: Ive designed our new product to work flawlessly for up to ten years. CEO: No one will need an upgrade. Thats no good. Add some code to low it down and make it unreliable after two years. CEO: But make sure the device doesn't slow down until we have an upgrade to sell. Then draft an apology I can put un a press realize when we get caught. Dilbert: You have turned my engineering success into the darkest day of my career. CEO: Thats not even close to being true. Your darkest day will be when the press figures out what we did and I fore you for it.
Saturday September 02,
2017
Alice Forgives
Tags revenge, forgiveness, bygones, anger, vindictive
Transcript
Man: Alice, can you review this for technical accuracy? Alice: No, because six years ago you rolled your eyes when I said something at a meeting. Man: Can you forgive me? Alice: Yes. That process involves not helping you.
Sunday January 08,
2017
Tags human, human nature, arguing, argument, social media, logic, critic, troll, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: If we move this button to here, people are more likely to see it. Man: Ha ha! OMG. LOL. So you think every person in the universe is blind? I can't wait to tell everyone that Dilbert thinks people have no eyes. The pure craziness of what you are saying is mid-boggling. Do you have any scientific proof that moving that button would not cause a nuclear holocaust? Dilbert: Everything you just said is dumb and unproductive, and I hate every molecule in your useless body. What's wrong with people? Dogbert: I keep tell you, it's everything.
Thursday December 01,
2016
Brain Trapping
Thursday January 28,
2016
Carol And The Terrorist
Tags terrorist, terrorism, racist, race, muslim, assume, assumption, accuse, accusation
Transcript
Carol: I hear you're a terrorist sympathizer. Asok: What? No! I'm not even close. I don't want to hate you! Please stop radicalizing me! Carol: Sweating, agitated, he looks suspicious to me. Asok: Who are you talking to???!
Friday June 12,
2015
Wally's Slap App
Wednesday March 04,
2015
Ceo Inflates His Own Head
Tags bonus, ceos, competition, executives, height, money, salary, wages
Transcript
Catbert: Now that our policy is to pay people based on height, your CEO salary is capped, too. CEO: That's what you think. Watch what happens when I hold my nose and close my mouth and blow. Catbert: Well, I guess it only needs to last until bonus season.
Sunday November 02,
2014
Tags obliviousness, time management, touch, touching, touching paper, turn off phone, ignore email, one touch, salad tongs, on etouch, interupted
Transcript
Boss: The key to good time management is touching each piece of paper once. If I can only touch it once, I'd better do it right. I'll need to make sure I don't get interrupted after the first touch.Turn off my phone, close my door, and ignore email. Okay, here goes one touch. Ugh. This will take an hour and I only have ten minutes. Make a copy, throw away the original, and don't let me touch the copy until I have an hour in my schedule. I wonder if I'm allowed to use salad tongs.


