Cloud Connected Comic Strips - Page 2

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64 Results for Cloud Connected

View 11 - 20 results for cloud connected comic strips. Discover the best "Cloud Connected" comics from Dilbert.com.

How To Send The File

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How To Send The File - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2016's comic on:


Tags #brenna thummler, #cloud, #files, #guest artist, #options, #sharing, #technology

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Ted: Can you send me the file? Dilbert: Do you want it by email, Dropbox, Google Drive, iCloud Drive, Airdrop, or Creative Cloud? Ted: Surprise me. Dilbert: The surprise will be if you find it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 06, 2016's comic on:


Tags #insult, #offense, #engineer, #programmer, #coding, #anger, #technology, #engineering

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Man: How's the software coming? Alice: Still waiting for you to give me the specs so I can start. Man: I already told you it's a cloud app that does data. Hey, I can't do your job for you. You have to meet me halfway. Aren't you supposed to be "agile?" I mean, how hard is it to rearrange zeroes and ones all day? Should I ask again tomorrow? Alice: Sure, if you're alive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 20, 2015's comic on:


Tags #jargon, #techspeak, #nonsense, #bluff, #deception, #conversation, #language

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Boss: Wally, did you Uberize the slide deck? Wally: I harmonized it in the cloud. Boss: Are we ready for a trans-domain kick-off? Wally: I put a disruptive mesh network in the microservices of the Internet of things. Boss: Will that be good enough to "ask the fridge" or do I need to start disintermediating? Wally: It depends on if we have enough bandwidth to growth-hack the analytics. Boss: I just hope our clicks-and-mortar strategy staircases. Dilbert: I'm almost certain that was nonsense. Wally: Sometimes it's about the journey.

Mansplaining The Network

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Mansplaining The Network - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 08, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mansplainer, #mansplaining, #relations between the sexes, #sexism, #frustration

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Mansplaining. Man: Let me explain how our network is designed. Alice: I personally designed our network and I know far more about it than you ever will. Man: Do you know what a cloud is? Alice: It's where you'll be playing your harp in a minute.

Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed

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Wally Is Not Hungry To Succeed - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 14, 2015's comic on:


Tags #mentor, #mentoring, #protege, #wages, #executives, #ceos, #compensation, #work ethic, #success, #money

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CEO: I've been mentoring you for a week. Do you feel different? Wally: Yes. Spending time with you makes me feel underpaid. CEO: And that makes you hungry to succeed? Wally: I don't even see how those things are connected.

Free Will Is An Illusion

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Free Will Is An Illusion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 2015's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #free will, #robot, #robotics, #technology, #emotionally manipulate, #cloud connected, #control humans

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Dilbert: I'm programming our robot line to emotionally manipulate their owners into buying upgrades. Wally: You're teaching cloud-connected robots all over the world how to surreptitiously control humans? Dilbert: Technically, yea. But free will is an illusion anyway. Wally: Well, if it isn't, it will be.

Sounded Interesting From Across The Room

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Sounded Interesting From Across The Room - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2014's comic on:


Tags #conversation, #smartphone technology, #speed evolve, #meta organism, #sum of parts, #looked interetsing, #employees, #coffee break, #cups, #business

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Tina: What are you talking about? It sounds interesting. Dilbert: We were saying that our smartphone technology has caused us to speed-evolve into a meta-organism that is the sum of our connected parts. Tina: In my defense, from across the room it looked interesting.

Wally Working In The Cloud

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Wally Working In The Cloud - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 08, 2014's comic on:


Tags #deception, #laziness, #the cloud, #work ethic, #software, #issues, #cell coverage, #home, #doing nothing, #engineering

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Wally: If you need me, I'll be in the cloud fixing a software issue. There's no cell coverage in the cloud, so it might seem to you as if I am at home doing nothing. If you need me, I'll be at home doing nothing. Dilbert: Why would anyone need you?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 2013's comic on:


Tags #inventions, #magic, #thinking, #already exits, #morphic field, #pseudo scinec, #crappy genes, #filberts mother, #explains things

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Dilbert: Every time I think I've invented something, I find out it already exists. Mombert: Maybe that's because all minds are connected by the morphic field. Dilbert: Morphic fields are pseudoscience, mom. Mombert: I also blame your dad's crappy genes.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2013's comic on:


Tags #anger, #apathy, #northern data, #cloud, #cloud guy, #data center

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Wally: I migrated our northern data center to the cloud. But the cloud stopped working and I can't find the phone number for our clout guy. So... whatever. Boss: You lost our data center? Wally: That's one way to look at it.