Collect Money Comic Strips - Page 2

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626 Results for Collect Money

View 11 - 20 results for collect money comic strips. Discover the best "Collect Money" comics from Dilbert.com.

Wally Borrows Money

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Wally Borrows Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags danger, health & safety, money, office workers, social distancing

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Wally: I heard you are not practicing social distancing. Can I borrow some money? CEO: What does social distancing have to do with borrowing money? Wally: I like borrowing money when I might not have to pay it back.

Ceo Has Pandemic Plan

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Ceo Has Pandemic Plan - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, video conference, stock market, money, rich, lost, pandemic, health, underpay, stategy

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ceo on video conference: i used to be rich, but i lost it all in the stock market crash during the pandemic. luckily, i can make up the difference by working you idiots to death while underpaying you. video chat: we thought you didn't have a strategy. ceo: i just don't like to talk about it.

Passion

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Passion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags office workers, business, live, parents, passion, job, match, career, porcelain, frog, fault

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office worker: i still live with my parents because i can't find a job that matches my passion. dilbert: what is your passion? office worker: i collect porcelain frogs. dilbert: that isn't a career. office worker: how is that my fault?

Transfer Money To The Rich

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Transfer Money To The Rich - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags computer, technology, cloud, social, change, transfer, money, low-income, rich, wrong, efficient

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dogbert at laptop: now that i'm managing the cloud, it's time to make some social changes. i'll transfer any remaining money from low-income people to the rich. dilbert in bath robe: that feels wrong. dogbert: i'm just adding efficiently to the inevitable.

Ghosts Use Bitcoin

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Ghosts Use Bitcoin - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, money, die, ghost, password, bitcoin, clothes

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boss drinking coffee: they say you can't take your money with you when you die. but does that include bitcoin? because even a ghost can remember a password. dilbert: why would a ghost need money? boss: have you never noticed they all wear clothes?

Punching Boss

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 Punching Boss - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, improvement, money, morale, punching, violence, kicking, ideas

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boss: i'm looking for ideas to improve morale without spending money. alice: we could take turns punching you. boss yells: no punching! any other ideas? wally: did anyone suggest kicking?

Making World Better Place

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Making World Better Place - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, money, meeting, employees, taxes, cancer, sarcasm

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boss: i don't want employees who are only working for the money. i want employees who are working to make the world a better place. dilbert: how does working here make the world a better place? half of our products cause cancer, and the other half don't work at all. wally: we don't even pay taxes. one could argue that every day we spend working here makes the planet a little bit worse. boss: is that why i never see you doing any work? wally: when did it become a crime to care about people? sheesh!

What Good Is Money

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What Good Is Money - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, income, soul, money, earn, rent, own

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dilbert on couch at home: what good is earning money if it costs me my soul? dogbert: well, for one thing, it's the only way you can pay your rent. dilbert: rent? i own this house. dogbert: you really should read the things i ask you to docusign.

Worst Idea Ever

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Worst Idea Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags idea, savings, fake, psychic, prediction, money, unhappy

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boss: this is the worst idea i have ever seen. dilbert: didn't you once tell me you spent all of your savings on a fake psychic? and the only prediction she got right was that you would lose all of your money? boss: she also predicted i would be unhappy.

Manufacturing In Elbonia

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Manufacturing In Elbonia - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, business, out source, elbonia, money, government, reputation

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boss: we're moving our manufacturing operations to elbonia to save money. dilbert: are you worried about elbonian government's reputation? boss: nah. i try to stay out of the weeds. dilbert: they're building concentration camps and rounding up dissenters. they intenionally poisoned a hundred thousand people in this country. they are habitual stealers of intellectual property, and they routinely ignore agreements they have signed. and they have a well-known goal of weakening other countries so they can dominate the world. boss: why can you just admit i'm saving money?