Couch Comic Strips - Page 2
176 Results for Couch
View 11 - 20 results for couch comic strips. Discover the best "Couch" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share August 13, 2008's comic on:
A woman says, "How long have you been addicted to ogling online job postings?" Alice says, "It started when I realized my current job is like a dung beetle trying to mate with an epileptic cow." The woman says, "That imagery is disturbing." Alice says, "I know, right?"
Share July 27, 2007's comic on:
The Boss: "I hired the Dogbert Moving Company to handle your relocation." "It saves us money because they only send one huge guy." "After you load your couch on the truck, make me another sandwich, or, again, I'll kill you."
Share July 25, 2007's comic on:
Alice: I can't stop punching people who deserve to be punched. For example, your high rates and ridiculous combover make me want to punch your face in. Therapist: But you won't right? Alice: Lets see what happens when I regain the element of surprise.
Share February 19, 2005's comic on:
Dogbert works for the cable company "If your picture is fuzzy then get new glasses." "If my glasses are theproblem, why does the couch look perfectly clear?" "Good question. Please hold while I transfer your to couch tech support."
Share August 29, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: Our bonuses will depend on the results of the employee attitude survey. If we boost our morale rank, we'll get bigger bonuses. get it? all you have to do is say you're happy and you get money. wink wink wink Dilbert: you want us to lie? No-o-o-o! Heaven forbid, absolutely no lying, But if you did lie, Imagine the things you could buy with that money, I'll hand out the surveys and you can let your conscience guide you. Dilbert: Is "para dise too over the top? Wally: Im going to lie me up a new couch!
Share February 27, 2004's comic on:
The Boss: I think my employees are trying t kill me. Am I paranoid? The boss: put your answer in an metal. O spot want to be paying for the pauses between you words. Therapist: Ive ruled out paranoia. The Boss: phew thats a relief.
Share June 03, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting on his couch, reading a book. Dogbert stands on the armrest and says, "I plan to open a gambling casino for people who have extraordinarily bad luck." Dilbert asks, "How can you tell who has extraordinarily bad luck?" Dogbert replies, "They would be the ones that go to my casino."
Share March 10, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is sitting on the couch at home. Dogbert hands him a pamphlet and says, "Would you like to buy some life insurance?" Dilbert reads the pamphlet, "Exclusions: Self-inflicted wounds, pre-existing illness, criminal acts, war, dangerous sports, smoking..." Headline: Much later that day. Dilbert is still reading, "...And pistol duels resulting from quilting bees." Dogbert replies, "No one reads it, freak!"
Share February 10, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is lying on a therapist's couch in an exoskeleton. He says, "My medication makes me happy despite my exoskeleton, bad job, and social life." Dilbert continues, "If chemicals can change the way I think and what I enjoy, then free will must be an illusion." The therapist asks, "What about your soul?" Dilbert responds, "I'm an engineer."
Share February 07, 2003's comic on:
Dilbert is lying on the couch in his bathrobe. He says to Dogbert, "The prescription drugs make me happy, but I worry that it's not genuine happiness." Dogbert responds, "Ask your doctor for a drug that cures worrying. Then you'll have it all." The doctor hands Dilbert some pills and says, "It might make you grow an exoskeleton, but you won't care." Dilbert responds, "Cool."