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59 Results for Creating Comic

View 11 - 20 results for creating comic comic strips. Discover the best "Creating Comic" comics from Dilbert.com.

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

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Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #small talk, #conversation, #criticism, #executives, #salary, #wages, #fairness, #offense, #offend, #money

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Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Alice Has Foul Language

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Alice Has Foul Language - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #offense, #language, #joke, #jokes, #human resources, #complaint, #business

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Boss: Tina complained that your foul language is creating a hostile work environment. Alice: That's ridiculous. Words are totally harmless. Tell Tina she can... [Ten Seconds Later. The boss is twitching] Okay, I see it now.

Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk

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Wally's Hobby Is Economic Babble Talk - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #jargon, #babble, #economics, #obliviousness, #economist, #economy, #hiring

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Wally: My new hobby is explaining economics using babble talk. It sounds totally real. For example, did you know that the bubble in commodities is creating an oversupply of interest rates? Meanwhile... Boss: Our Chief Economist quit. CEO: Promote that bald guy. He sounds smart.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #mergers & acquisitions, #worry, #short poition, #cartoon cat, #bloom county, #Comic Strip, #mantra, #bill ackman, #stocks, #defective people

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Dilbert: Bill Ackman just took a huge short position in our stock. Boss: I"m not worried about a cartoon cat from an old "Bloom County" comic strip. Dilbert: Maybe I care too much. Wally: That is the mantra of all defective people.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #avarice, #business ethics, #stock market, #stock split, #dumb stock holders, #fantastic prodcuts, #money

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CEO: The board has voted to do a stock split. It came down to a choice between creating fantastic products or attracting dumber stockholders. One of those two things is easy.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #electronic mail, #thinking, #lack of creativity, #choke yourself, #creating ideas

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Boss: I traced all of our problems back to your lack of creativity. You should be creating ideas that change the course of civilization, but instead, you sit there like a lump. Dilbert: I'm sending you a link that describes fun ways to choke yourself.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comic ends early, #embedded punchline, #follow passion, #joking, #made fat, #set up, #blank frame, #sight gag

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Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #fired, #programming code, #undocumented, #passwords, #death spiral, #huge raise

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Boss: Wally, you have accomplished none of your goals. I have to let you go. Wally: Actually, I accomplished a lot. I spent the past ten years creating a tangle of undocumented programming code. Every one of our major systems is linked to it. If I don't enter a password every day, the entire company will go into a technology death spiral. If you value your job, you'll give me a huge raise and dance on this table like a monkey!!! Boss: Let's call it a tie. Wally: Yeah, I'm good with that.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #fake websites, #gullibility, #idiopathy epidemic, #internet & world wide web, #search engine, #slap the victim

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Alice: I've learned to control reality by creating fake websites and doing search engine optimization. Boss: Did you hear about the idiopathy epidemic? They symptoms include pointy hair and gullibility. The only treatment is for someone else to slap the victim. Alice: Ask for it like you mean it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #app store, #created app, #dream killer, #first name, #free apps, #madonna, #sell a million, #mother, #Family

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Dilbert: I spent four months creating this app, mom. I think I can sell a million of them for $3.99. Mom: I saw seven apps just like this in the app store and five of them were free. Dilbert: Thanks for the feedback, dream-killer. Mom: Have you ever thought of just using your first name, like Madonna?