Credit Comic Strips - Page 2
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Character
62 Results for Credit
View 11 - 20 results for credit comic strips. Discover the best "Credit" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday May 23,
2018
Idea Stealing
Thursday February 08,
2018
Someone Stole Phb's Idea
Friday May 19,
2017
Asok Should Not Brag
Saturday January 07,
2017
Boss Thought Of It First
Friday December 30,
2016
Boss Doesn't See Email
Tags space, astronaut, engineering, laziness, bureaucracy, accident
Transcript
Boss: The crew of our first spaceship suffocated on the launchpad. Apparently, I got an email last week asking for approval to repair the oxygen generator. Carol: You killed them with your incompetence? Boss: I can't take all the credit. It was a team effort.
Sunday February 28,
2016
Tags dating, fitbit, hackers, hacking, information, privacy, spying, surveillance, technology, relationships
Transcript
Hackers Convention. Dilbert: Hi, I'm Dilbert. Woman: I know. I just hacked your phone, your credit card, and your fitness band. No need for conversation. I know everything about you, including your current physiological state. Dilbert: I feel violated. Woman: No, you don't. Your vital signs are elevated. That means you're falling in love with me. Dilbert: Ha! I just hacked your fitness band and I see you have... no interest in me whatsoever. It was too late to reject her first.
Sunday January 03,
2016
Tags meeting, complaining, problems, salutation, sincerity, insincere, questioning, business
Transcript
Dilbert: Thanks for meeting me on short notice. How are you? Coworker: Well, actually, someone stole my identity and ruined my credit score. I couldn't refinance my loan and lost my house. So I ate myself into poor health. I stopped shaving for a month and ended up on the terrorist watchlist. My boss hates me and is trying to make me quit by giving me bad assignments. My car broke down and I haven't been hugged in a year. Dilbert: Okay, let's get started. Coworker: That's all the time I had.
Sunday September 20,
2015
Tags managers & supervisors, credit, motivation, obliviousness, hiring, logic, business
Transcript
Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?
Friday May 08,
2015
Celebrate Failure
Tags success, failure, credit, taking credit, reasoning, managers
Transcript
Boss: Failure is the raw material of success. From now on, I will celebrate your failures. Dilbert: Will you still be taking credit for our successes? Boss: That part stays the same. I'm only trying to increase the contrast to your failures.
Wednesday February 25,
2015
Asok The Stock Picking Genius
Tags day trader, greed, investing, luck, money, stock market, stocks
Transcript
Asok: I bought my first stock and it went up five percent in one week!That means I'm a stock-picking genius. I plan to max out all of my credit cards and become a day-trader. Dilbert: The total market is up six percent. Asok: That's just luck. It can't do that forever.


