Cut Twice Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

177 Results for Cut Twice

View 11 - 20 results for cut twice comic strips. Discover the best "Cut Twice" comics from Dilbert.com.

Product Warning Is Too Long

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Product Warning Is Too Long - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technical writer, #instructions, #caution, #warning, #safety, #criticism

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: My boss, who knows nothing about technical writing, told me to cut my 700-page product warning down to 500 pages. He doesn't appreciate my art. Dilbert: Sounds like both of you are idiots. Tina: This will go smoother if you stop talking.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

500 Pages Would Be Rubbish

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
500 Pages Would Be Rubbish - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #writing, #criticism, #technical writer, #warning, #caution, #safety

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: You need to edit the product warning from seven hundred pages down to one. Tina: Oh, that's rich. I'ma professional technical writer, and you're telling me how to write? Boss: Can you cut it down to 500 pages? Tina: Sure, if you want it to be total rubbish.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #scope, #negotiating, #engineer, #demands, #failure, #stress, #business, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to cut our budget. Go to all of our vendors and tell them to reduce their prices. Dilbert: Why would they do that for us? Boss: Tell them we'll buy from someone else unless they do. Dilbert: That's what we told them to get the prices we have now. I'm an engineer, not a professional negotiator. Your plan has failure designed into it. Your poor leadership already has me on the edge of madness. This could push me over the edge. Boss: And I need it done by Tuesday.

Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.

Fit Bit Monitoring

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Fit Bit Monitoring - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #mothers, #mom, #surveillance, #spying, #nosy

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilmom: This is your mom. I've been monitoring your Fitbit and... whatever you're doing, cut it out. Dilbert: It was disturbing on many levels. Dogbert: "Mom Drone" behind you.

Do Not Talk To Ted

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Do Not Talk To Ted - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.

The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
The Stem Gender Imbalance Explained - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #gender, #Women, #technology, #equality, #gross, #repulsion

View Transcript

Transcript

Robot: Researchers discovered why women are under-represented in stem careers. It's this guy. Wally: I used to cut my toenails every week, now I just wear bigger shoes. Woman: I quit.

I Used To Have A Nemesis

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
I Used To Have A Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nemesis, #enemy, #logic, #self esteem, #anger, #hate

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: I used to have a nemesis. Bit I cut out the middle person and learned to hate myself. Dilbert: That's dumb. Man: I told you I don't need you!

Wally Thinks Twice As Hard

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Thinks Twice As Hard - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work ethic, #laziness, #motivation, #trick, #deception, #excuse, #lazy, #energy, #con, #health

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I'm working twice as hard as ever before. Most of it is happening inside my head. But trust me, my brain is working double-time. Boss: Um... that's great. Wally: Obviously, I need to work fewer hours because of the energy drain.

Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Working On Boss's Side Job - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #work, #labor, #free, #taking advantage, #side job, #boss, #conflict of interest

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you finish the website I asked you to make for my side business? Dilbert: No, because you keep me busy 100 percent of the time in my regular job. Boss: Hey, it isn't easy asking for twice as many status updates either.