Dance With Death Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Dance With Death

View 11 - 20 results for dance with death comic strips. Discover the best "Dance With Death" comics from Dilbert.com.

Read It With My Own Eyes

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Read It With My Own Eyes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #argument, #communication, #email, #frustrated, #office, #office workers, #plans

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Man: I disagree with your email saying the plan won't work. Dilbert: My email said exactly the opposite. I said the plan will definitely work. Man: No, I read it with my own eyes. Dilbert: I'm the one who wrote it!!!

Unforseen Risks

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Unforseen Risks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 12, 2019's comic on:


Tags #blame, #boss, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #risks

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Boss: How can you be sure there are no unforeseen risks with this plan? Dilbert: It is not possible to know if one has considered every risk. Therefore, we can never be sure. Boss: So...I can still blame you for any problems that pop up? Dilbert: Yes, that part of the process is still intact.

Leaders Have Differen Memories

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Leaders Have Differen Memories - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #meeting, #office, #stupid, #leadership

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the boss: we had a leadership meeting to decide how to move forward. the boss: but all the leaders left the meeting with wildly different ideas about what we agreed on. carol: how do you leaders plan to solve that? the boss: phase one involves accusing each other of being stupid.

Measuring Excellence

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Measuring Excellence - Dilbert by Scott Adams

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Tags #business, #office, #excellence

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dilbert, the boss and wally at conference room table. the boss: we opened our first "center of excellence" today. the boss: at the risk of sounding too optimistic, we should be brimming with excellence by nightfall. dilbert: how will we know if is working? the boss: it's better if we don't try too hard to measure it.

Jargon Cancelling Headphones

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Jargon Cancelling Headphones - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 27, 2019's comic on:


Tags #doctor, #doctors' offices, #office, #office workers, #prescription, #headphones, #jargon

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doctor: looks like you have a bad case of jargon poisoning. doctor: i'll write you a prescription for jargon-canceling headphones. they translate jargon words to normal words. office worker: let's stay in our swim lane while the tiger teams get buy-in on the verticals. dilbert hears this with headphones: nothing, nothing, nothing.

Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It

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Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #company, #variables

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the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."

Ted And The Tangle Of Cords

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Ted And The Tangle Of Cords - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 08, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #desk, #office, #office workers, #cables, #stapler

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the boss, dibert and wally standing with coffee. the boss: has anyone seen ted lately? wally: last time i saw him he was trapped in a tangle of cables behind his desk, screaming for help. the boss: then you helped him get free? wally: i only needed his stapler.

Dogbert's Service Human

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Dogbert's Service Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad

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dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?

Touch Base With Carl

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Touch Base With Carl - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 03, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #office workers

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the boss: can you reach out to carl and touch base? dilbert: can you restate that using normal words? the boss: i could, but then it would feel as if i'm not managing you.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

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dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!