Date Comic Strips - Page 2

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202 Results for Date

View 11 - 20 results for date comic strips. Discover the best "Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Longest Date Ever

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Longest Date Ever - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, relationships, Women, Men, attraction, record, conversation

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Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.

Miracle Of Consciousness

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Miracle Of Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags jaded, blase, unimpressed, dating, relationships

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Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!

Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting

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Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitter, children, supervision, refugees, Family

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Carol: You said you would watch my kids last night but you never showed up! Dilbert: You didn't give me your address, and you turned off your cellphone for your date night. I'm sure it was fine. Carol: An Elbonian family is living in my cupboard!!!

Carol Leaves Kids

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Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitter, children, supervision, date night, parents, Family

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Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

Catbert Will Not Help Children

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Catbert Will Not Help Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags reasoning, judgment, company policy, rules, regulations, rigid, stringent, inflexible

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Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.

Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babysitting, babysitter, inexperience, children, parents, cell phone, communication, Family, technology

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Dilbert: What's your mobile number in case I need to reach you while I"m babysitting your kids tonight? Carol: My phone is already turned off so the kids don't ruin my date night by texting every ten minutes. Dilbert: I can't tell if I'm prepared for tonight. Wally: Did you get their address?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Unexpected Things Happen

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Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deadline, project, schedule, excuse

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CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags flirting, dating, negotiation, rebuff, rejection, social media, relationships, technology

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Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.

Dating Is A B Testing

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Dating Is A B Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags analysis, comparison, dating, first date, judging, a-b testing, click with, analytics, measuring, too many questions, relationships, science

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Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.