Date Comic Strips - Page 2
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202 Results for Date
View 11 - 20 results for date comic strips. Discover the best "Date" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday April 28,
2016
Longest Date Ever
Tags dating, relationships, Women, Men, attraction, record, conversation
Transcript
Dilbert: My date lasted 53 minutes. Dogbert: That's your longest yet. Was she trapped in any way, such as under rubble? Dilbert: Nope! Dogbert: Wow. How'd you do it? Dilbert: I didn't talk for the first 49 minutes.
Wednesday April 27,
2016
Miracle Of Consciousness
Tags jaded, blase, unimpressed, dating, relationships
Transcript
Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!
Monday February 22,
2016
Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting
Tags babysitter, children, supervision, refugees, Family
Transcript
Carol: You said you would watch my kids last night but you never showed up! Dilbert: You didn't give me your address, and you turned off your cellphone for your date night. I'm sure it was fine. Carol: An Elbonian family is living in my cupboard!!!
Saturday February 20,
2016
Carol Leaves Kids
Tags babysitter, children, supervision, date night, parents, Family
Transcript
Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.
Friday February 19,
2016
Catbert Will Not Help Children
Tags reasoning, judgment, company policy, rules, regulations, rigid, stringent, inflexible
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.
Thursday February 18,
2016
Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit
Tags babysitting, babysitter, inexperience, children, parents, cell phone, communication, Family, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: What's your mobile number in case I need to reach you while I"m babysitting your kids tonight? Carol: My phone is already turned off so the kids don't ruin my date night by texting every ten minutes. Dilbert: I can't tell if I'm prepared for tonight. Wally: Did you get their address?
Sunday February 07,
2016
Tags demands, bosses, unrealistic, frustration, outburst, catch-22, travel, air travel
Transcript
Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.
Saturday January 16,
2016
Unexpected Things Happen
Sunday May 31,
2015
Tags flirting, dating, negotiation, rebuff, rejection, social media, relationships, technology
Transcript
Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.
Monday January 05,
2015
Dating Is A B Testing
Tags analysis, comparison, dating, first date, judging, a-b testing, click with, analytics, measuring, too many questions, relationships, science
Transcript
Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.

