District Manager Comic Strips - Page 2
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171 Results for District Manager
View 11 - 20 results for district manager comic strips. Discover the best "District Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 13,
2018
Hard Work Is The Key To Success
Tags #Advice, #manager, #self-interest, #motivation
Transcript
Asok: What is the key to success? Boss: Hard work! Asok: Is it a coincidence that your advice for me corresponds to your self-interest? Boss: My other advice is never question authority.
Wednesday May 23,
2018
Idea Stealing
Sunday April 15,
2018
Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money
Transcript
Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.
Saturday February 10,
2018
Need To Be More Creative
Tags #manager, #managing, #creativity, #company culture, #control, #leadership
Transcript
Boss: We need to be more creative. Also, don't do anything except what I tell you to do or else I'll fire you. Dilbert: Thank you for your leadership. Boss: We also need to communicate less.
Thursday September 07,
2017
Robot Will Crush Employees
Tags #robot, #boss, #manager, #threat, #artificial intelligence, #control, #power
Transcript
Robot: Thanks to advances in artificial intelligence, I am both a robot and your new boss. Work hard while I do nothing or I will crush each of your skulls with my mechanical arms. Dilbert: He's tough, but he's fair. Wally: And no micromanaging. I find it refreshing.
Tuesday July 18,
2017
Ted Promoted To Software Architect
Tags #manager, #Promotion, #intelligence, #logic, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: I promoted Ted to software architect because he doesn't know how to code. At first I thought it was a bad idea. Then I remembered that sometimes monkeys are astronauts. Dilbert: You know the monkeys don't fly the rocket, right? Boss: And Ted won't be writing code.
Saturday April 01,
2017
It's Like You Never Existed
Tags #supervisor, #manager, #false comparison
Transcript
Alice: I spent the past week fixing a critical bug in the software that I forgot to tell you about. Boss: In a way, it's like you never existed. Alice: No, it's not like that at all. Boss: And you have a bad attitude on top of all that.
Friday March 17,
2017
Dilbert Loses His Budget
Tags #vacation, #decision, #funding, #money
Transcript
Boss: You were on vacation last week so I made decisions about your project without you. Dilbert: Oh no... what have you done? Boss: I transferred your budget to another project. Dilbert: I need that money! Boss: Oh. Can you wait until the other project manager goes on vacation?
Thursday February 16,
2017
Dilbert Has Management Potential
Tags #manager, #honesty, #insult, #obliviousness
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO thinks you have management potential. Dilbert: What did I do to deserve that kind of insult??! Boss: He called you a heartless monster. CEO: He speaks truth to power. I like it.
Wednesday February 15,
2017
Resources Complain
Tags #leadership, #language, #jargon, #manager
Transcript
Man: I want to lodge a complaint against Dilbert. He called me a "resource." I find that offensive. Boss: Then he offended one of the resources. CEO: You're right. He does sound like a natural leader.