Dogbert Research Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Dogbert Research

View 11 - 20 results for dogbert research comic strips. Discover the best "Dogbert Research" comics from Dilbert.com.

Service Human And Pay

Thank you for voting.
Service Human And Pay - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 05, 2019's comic on:


Tags #abuse, #business, #office, #office workers, #service, #payment

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i'm hearing that you are abusing your service human. the boss: i don't think you pay him enough for that. service human: wait. i'm suppose to get paid for this??? dogbert: great. now you've ruined him!

Dogbert's Service Human

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Service Human - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 04, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #magazines, #office, #office workers, #service, #ipad

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert to dilbert: this is my service human. office worker on leash. dogbert: whenever i feel angry, i slap him with a rolled-up magazine to help me relax. service human: no one reads magazines anymore. dogbert: can i borrow your iPad?

Saving Babies

Thank you for voting.
Saving Babies - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reputation, #fire

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: I have been cleared of all allegations against me, but where do i go to get my reputation back? dogbert: i recommend running into a burning building to save a baby. dilbert: what if no buildings are on fire? dogbert: have you heard of matches?

Dogbert Narrates

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Narrates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #narrator

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: hi, i'm dilbert, and this is my narrator. dogbert: bob wondered when was the last time dilbert had washed his hands. it was a good question. bob: what? dilbert: just ignore the fore-shadowing.

Dilbert Hires A Narrator

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Hires A Narrator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #narrator

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm not a good communicator, so i hired a narrator. cynthia: how will a narrator help? dogbert: cynthia was as dumb as she looked.

Dogbert Starts A Podcast

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Starts A Podcast - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 29, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #podcast

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: i decided to start my own podcast. dogbert: i'm crafting my content to appeal to dumb people because that's the biggest market. dilbert: how will that make the world a better place? dogbert: based on your question, you'd enjoy my podcast.

Birds Cause Hurricanes

Thank you for voting.
Birds Cause Hurricanes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #ceo, #research, #nonsense, #hurricans, #birds, #noted, #polar bears, #hate, #snow

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: I don't know enough about climate change to sound smart when people talk about it. Boss: Try doing your own research. That's how I learned that hurricanes are caused by birds. CEO: Write that down for me. Boss: And did you know polar bear hate snow?

Humans And Parakeets

Thank you for voting.
Humans And Parakeets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 19, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #carol, #research, #humans, #parakeets, #offspring, #blog, #deny

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I was doing some research on the internet and learned that humans and parakeets can mate and produce offspring. Carol: I don't believe that. Boss: It's true. I read about it on a blog. Carol: I wouldn't call that "research". Boss: Deny science much?

Boss Does Research On Internet

Thank you for voting.
Boss Does Research On Internet - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 18, 2019's comic on:


Tags #internet, #searching, #secret, #unbelievable, #nonsense, #afraid, #truth

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I was doing some research on the internet... Dilbert: Uh-oh. Boss: And I learned that there is a secret cia base inside the sun, but no one is talking about it. Dilbert: Maybe you shouldn't do research on the internet. Boss: Why are you afraid of the truth?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business ethics, #engineering, #government, #idea, #managers & supervisors, #math, #ocean, #research, #sarcasm, #science, #temperature, #tests

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We won a government contract to measure ocean temperatures. Dilbert: Which part of the ocean? Boss: The whole ocean. Dilbert: We can't put sensors everywhere in the ocean. It's too big. Boss: We can measure a bunch of places and estimate the rest. Dilbert: So...you want me to measure 1% of the ocean's temperature and estimate the other 99%? I don't know how to do that. Boss: Try using math. Dilbert: Wouldn't it be cheaper to measure nothing and just estimate the whole thing? Boss: Every now and then you come up with a great idea.