Don't Know Bugs Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Don't Know Bugs

View 11 - 20 results for don't know bugs comic strips. Discover the best "Don't Know Bugs" comics from Dilbert.com.

Anythey

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Anythey - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #company, #policy, #pronouns, #anythey, #question, #offensive

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boss in meeting: the new company policy is to use "they" in place of offensive pronouns. does anythey have a comment or question? asok: "anythey"? boss: don't fight it.

Frequent Victims Club

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Frequent Victims Club - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #join, #frequent, #victim, #club, #beverage, #minute, #dollar, #track, #purchases, #sell, #data, #colleagues, #stores, #customer, #servey

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man with red apron: would you like to join our frequent victims club? dilbert: no, i just want to buy this beverage. man: you could save a dollar if you join now. it only takes a minute. dilbert: i don't want you tracking my purchases and selling my data. man: i you don't sign up, my colleagues and i will pester you to do it every time you try to buy something. dilbert: i'll take my business elsewhere! man: no. you won't. because other stores are just as bad as we are. dilbert: i am not a victim! man: tell that to the customer survey i'm about to pester you into doing.

Universe Preparing Problems

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Universe Preparing Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #universe, #preparing, #problems, #anger, #laptop, #hate

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dilbert thinking in from of laptop: uh-oh. i don't seem to have any actual problems today. the universe hates it when i have no problems. it must be preparing a big one. dilbert yelling: what's it gonna be this time, universe?! carol: i'll come back.

Dilbert Doesn't See Hats

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Dilbert Doesn't See Hats  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #hat, #sarcasm, #business, #elbonia, #big, #working, #sight, #patronizing

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Elbonian man: i heard a rumor that you hate working with people who wear big hats. dilbert: i don't see hats. elbonian man: are you patronizing me right now? dilbert: i can't tell.

Dick Tells A Rumor

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Dick Tells A Rumor - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #workplace, #coworkers, #people, #gossip, #malice, #slander, #pointless, #pain, #nemesis, #office workers

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dick: hi, i'm dick, your workplace nemesis. dilbert: i know who you are. dick: people are saying terrible things about you behind your back, but i can't tell you who they are or what they are saying. dilbert: what is the point of telling me that? dick: have i mentioned i feed on your pain.

Dick The Nemesis

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Dick The Nemesis - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #hire, #nemesis, #social media, #bad, #idea, #doubt, #science, #workplace

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boss: i hired dick to be your workplace nemesis. you might know his work from social media. dilbert: this feels like a bad idea. dick: doubt science much? duhrr.

Shaking Hands

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Shaking Hands - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #invent, #Alternative, #handshake, #high-five, #month, #coffee

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boss: i've invented an alternative to shaking hands. you raise one hand up like the start of a high-five and stop. what do you think? dilbert: why don't you try it for a month and tell me how it goes?

Dilbert Interrupts Women

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Dilbert Interrupts Women - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #discrimination, #office workers, #interrupt, #woman, #sense, #nincompoop, #babble, #pattern

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tina: dilbert is always interrupting me because i'm a woman. how do you deal with it when he interrupts you? alice: he doesn't interrupt me. tina: that makes no sense. he interrupts me because i'm a woman, and you're a woman...so... alice: maybe he doesn't interrupt me because i make sense when i talk. whereas you're more of a babbling nincompoop and a notorious ruiner of meetings. tina: well, i certainly don't know where you... alice: let's head back now. tina: you interrupted me! alice: try to spot the pattern.

Wally Takes A Sick Day

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Wally Takes A Sick Day - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #video call, #laptop, #sick day, #work, #unwell, #sick, #work from home, #coffee, #lazy

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boss and wally on video call. wally: i'm not feeling well, so i'm going to take the day off from work. boss: you work at home. and you'll be just as sick whether you work or not, so why not work? wally: i don't know if you know this about me, but i don't like working.

Zooming Right

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Zooming Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sarcasm, #technology, #video call, #adjustments, #camera, #nose, #lighting, #lightbulb, #beard, #audio, #idea, #rude, #laptop

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alice: can you adjust your camera so i'm not looking up your nose? okay, now can you adjust your lighting so you don't look like a lightbulb with a beard? voice from laptop: how's my audio? alice: it's as good as your ideas.