Dysfunctional Family Comic Strips - Page 2
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165 Results for Dysfunctional Family
View 11 - 20 results for dysfunctional family comic strips. Discover the best "Dysfunctional Family" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday December 10,
2018
Carol Raises Money For School
Tags family & parenting, guilt, office, office workers, sales, sarcasm, school
Transcript
Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday October 09,
2018
Boss Acts Interested
Tags the boss, Dilbert, single, childless, article, productive, kick
Transcript
The Boss: How's your family? Dilbert: I'm still single and childless. Are you acting interested in me because you saw an article saying it would make me more productive? The Boss: Apparently it doesn't kick in right away.
Tuesday October 02,
2018
Death In The Family
Thursday May 24,
2018
Boring And Needy Children
Tags parents, mother, interview, children, annoyance, work-life balance, Family
Transcript
Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.
Saturday May 19,
2018
We Are Family
Tags business, Family, relationships, parents, leadership
Transcript
Boss: I think of all of you as family. Wally: That's dumb. Boss: You'll never amount to anything. Wally: Mommy?
Saturday July 15,
2017
Home Speaker Goes Bad
Thursday July 13,
2017
Home Speaker Prototype
Tags technology, robot, speaker, invention, sentience
Transcript
Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.
Sunday May 21,
2017
Tags friendship, closeness, favor, benefit, debate, relationships
Transcript
Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.
Friday April 07,
2017
Raising Cyborgs
Tags dating, Women, free will, control, robot, personality, relationships, psychology
Transcript
Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.
Friday February 03,
2017
Family Of Squirrels In A Tire
Tags competition, management, managers, obliviousness, direction
Transcript
Boss: Why can't we innovate as quickly as our competition? Dilbert: Maybe it's because our management is like a family of squirrels that lives inside an old tree. Boss: Can you be more specific? Dilbert: It's a Goodyear tire with five grey squirrels.