Essentail Jobs Comic Strips - Page 2
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131 Results for Essentail Jobs
View 11 - 20 results for essentail jobs comic strips. Discover the best "Essentail Jobs" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 22,
2019
Thankless Tasks
Tags #career, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #optimism
Transcript
Man: My career goal is to have a job with greater recognition, autonomy, and a sense of purpose. Boss: We'll miss you. Man: I was hoping to get that stuff here. Boss: We're more about thankless tasks.
Tuesday January 15,
2019
More Accurate Job Description
Tags #distraction, #frustration, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #sarcasm
Transcript
Dilbert: I updated my job description to be more accurate. Boss: "I try to do something and then I get interrupted a jillion times until the thing no longer matters." Sounds like you need some extra micro-managing. Dilbert: I have to take this call.
Monday January 14,
2019
Job Is 98 Percent Interruption
Tags #distraction, #engineering, #frustrated, #jobs, #office workers, #listen
Transcript
Alice: My job is 2% work and 98% getting interrupted. I can't focus long enough to finish anything. Dilbert: Are you done? I'm trying to work. Alice: You're a bad listener.
Thursday December 27,
2018
Working With Old Ned
Tags #elderly, #men and women, #office workers, #old
Transcript
Boss: I need you to work with old Ned on this project. He's a little bit old-fashioned, but don't let that get to you. He retires in six months. Alice: I've been asked to work with you. Ned: Women have jobs now? ? ?
Monday December 03,
2018
Company Cheer
Tags #boss, #business, #employees, #jobs, #managers & supervisors, #meetings, #corporations
Transcript
Boss: Our new corporate owners want us to gather every morning to do the company cheer. Alice: I quit. Dilbert: I quit. Voice: I quit. Voice 2: I quit. Boss: That's not the company cheer. Dilbert: It is now.
Thursday November 22,
2018
Teach Employees To Code
Tags #boss, #computers, #engineering, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #teaching, #smart
Transcript
Boss: The job market is so tight we can't find any programmers. So I want you to teach some of our employees how to code. Dilbert: You mean the smart ones, I hope. Boss: No, we need the smart ones in their current jobs.
Thursday November 15,
2018
Complaining Versus Hiding
Tags #boss, #complaining, #employees, #employment, #jobs, #managers & supervisors
Transcript
Asok: I'm doing the job of three people and it isn't fair. Boss: Good point. Alice is doing the job of seven people. I'll give you two of her jobs to balance it out. Wally: So...is complaining better than hiding? Asok: No...you were right.
Friday September 28,
2018
Everyone Does Their Job
Tags #coffee, #deadline, #Dilbert, #fashion, #jobs, #negative, #woman and dating
Transcript
Dilbert: We'll be ready by your deadline if everyone does their jobs in a timely fashion. Woman: How often does that happen? Dilbert: It has never happened. Woman: Then you're saying you won't be ready by the deadline. Dilbert: Why must you be so negative?
Sunday August 12,
2018
Tags #the boss, #Dogbert, #unhealthy, #exercise, #mouse
Transcript
Dogbert: All of your employees are fat and unhealthy. That's why you should replace your outdated cubicles with treadmill desks. My company makes a treadmill desk that requires no electricity. The Boss: What if the employees don't like it? Dogbert: They already hate everything about their jobs there's no real downside. The Boss: Good point. Dogbert: I know. I'll send you one of our demo units so you can test it out. The boss: I finally feel as if I'm getting somewhere.
Friday June 01,
2018
Motivational Speaker
Tags #motivation, #motivational speaker, #inspiration, #backfire
Transcript
Alice: The motivational speaker you hired was great!!! We all decided to quit out jobs and become motivational speakers. Boss: He was supposed to make you work harder here. Alice: You wanted him to motivate us to be dumb?