Exact Date Comic Strips - Page 2

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223 Results for Exact Date

View 11 - 20 results for exact date comic strips. Discover the best "Exact Date" comics from Dilbert.com.

Miracle Of Consciousness

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Miracle Of Consciousness - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 27, 2016's comic on:


Tags #jaded, #blase, #unimpressed, #dating, #relationships

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Woman: Do you ever marvel at the miracle of consciousness? Dilbert: No. People are just fish plus time. Woman: Does anything amaze you? Dilbert: This is my longest date ever! 49 minutes!

Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting

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Carol Berates Dilbert For Not Babysitting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 2016's comic on:


Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #refugees, #Family

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Carol: You said you would watch my kids last night but you never showed up! Dilbert: You didn't give me your address, and you turned off your cellphone for your date night. I'm sure it was fine. Carol: An Elbonian family is living in my cupboard!!!

Carol Leaves Kids

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Carol Leaves Kids - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 20, 2016's comic on:


Tags #babysitter, #children, #supervision, #date night, #parents, #Family

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Carol: Dilbert should be here soon to fill in for the babysitter. Your dad and I need to leave now. Just let him in. We turned off our phones, so don't try to reach us on our date night. Narrator: Two hours later. Boy: I don't think he's coming. Girl: I say we Airbnb this place.

Catbert Will Not Help Children

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Catbert Will Not Help Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 2016's comic on:


Tags #reasoning, #judgment, #company policy, #rules, #regulations, #rigid, #stringent, #inflexible

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Dilbert: Can you give me Carol's home address? I agreed to watch her kids and she turned off her phone for her date night. Catbert: It is against company policy for me to use my good judgment to save children. Dilbert: Are you sure it says that? Catbert: Yes. I wrote it myself.

Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit

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Dilbert Thinks He Is Ready To Babysit - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2016's comic on:


Tags #babysitting, #babysitter, #inexperience, #children, #parents, #cell phone, #communication, #Family, #technology

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Dilbert: What's your mobile number in case I need to reach you while I"m babysitting your kids tonight? Carol: My phone is already turned off so the kids don't ruin my date night by texting every ten minutes. Dilbert: I can't tell if I'm prepared for tonight. Wally: Did you get their address?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 2016's comic on:


Tags #demands, #bosses, #unrealistic, #frustration, #outburst, #catch-22, #travel, #air travel

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Boss: Carol, move my flight one hour earlier Friday. Carol: Do you have any idea how hard that would be? I know it sounds easy, but it won't be. Not at this late date. Not with all your pickiness. When I fail, you will think I didn't look hard enough for a new flight. I can't prove a negative, so I will forever suffer your disdain. My career is ruined. Boss: Never mind! Forget it! Why is it so hard to ask you to do anything? Carol: I've been telling people you're stupid, but I'm open to other theories.

Unexpected Things Happen

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Unexpected Things Happen - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2016's comic on:


Tags #deadline, #project, #schedule, #excuse

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CEO: What's the latest on the software release date? Wally: We're right on time for the pre-alpha launch, unless we run into something unexpected. CEO: How often does that happen? Wally: Whenever I need it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2015's comic on:


Tags #flirting, #dating, #negotiation, #rebuff, #rejection, #social media, #relationships, #technology

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Dilbert: My name is Dilbert. Would you like to make out? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I take you on a date? Woman: No. Dilbert: Lunch? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I have your number so I can text you? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I be your Facebook friend? Woman: No. Dilbert: Can I follow you on Twitter? Woman: Fine. But no retweeting. Dilbert: Can I favorite your tweets? Woman: Only if you wear a glove on your mouse hand.

Dating Is A B Testing

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Dating Is A B Testing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 05, 2015's comic on:


Tags #analysis, #comparison, #dating, #first date, #judging, #a-b testing, #click with, #analytics, #measuring, #too many questions, #relationships, #science

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Woman: Have you been dating a lot? Dilbert: I call it A-B testing. I go on dates and then compare the analytics to see who I click with most.Woman: What exactly are you measuring? Dilbert: Asks too many questions.

Dilbert Meets The Mom

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Dilbert Meets The Mom - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2015's comic on:


Tags #dating, #low standards, #meeting people, #parents, #mother, #efficiency, #ebola, #shake hands, #Family, #relationships

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Woman: Mom, this my date, Dilbert. He only wears tube clothes. Dilbert: For the efficiency. Whoa! Before I touch that paw, have you been to any Ebola hot spots lately? Woman: He has a job. Dilbert: My time has come!