Executives Comic Strips - Page 2

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135 Results for Executives

View 11 - 20 results for executives comic strips. Discover the best "Executives" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags change, fear, power, executives, decision, threat, hypocrisy

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CEO: You must learn to embrace change. Dilbert: Can we change anything we want to change? CEO: No. You don't get to say what the changes are. I do that. Alice: Will that situation ever change? CEO: No. Alice: Why not? You said change is good. CEO: Change is good. For other people. So embrace it or I'll fire you. Employees: We love change!!!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags illusion, strategy, business, executives, bluff, bluffing

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CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.

Ceo Compensation

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Ceo Compensation - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags money, worth, salary, wages, fairness, fair, pay, expenses, saving, rich people, executives

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Dilbert: I just saw your net worth on the Internet. What's this meeting about anyway? CEO: It's about keeping expenses down. Dilbert: More for you? CEO: That's not the spin I was going to put on it.

Understanding The Problem

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Understanding The Problem - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Advice, wisdom, criticism, bad advice, executives, success

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CEO Wisdom. Asok: Can you teach me to be a success? CEO: Yes, obviously. Stop everything you're doing now because it clearly isn't working. Asok: That's it? CEO: Understanding the problem is half the solution.

Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing

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Ceo Gets Paid More For Creating Nothing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags small talk, conversation, criticism, executives, salary, wages, fairness, offense, offend, money

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Dilbert: Do you ever think it's weird that you get paid a hundred times more than me? I invented our core technology. All you did was interview better than a few other people who didn't invent anything. I'm not good at small talk. CEO: I would totally fire you if I could invent things.

Trust Yourself

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Trust Yourself - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags motivation, inspiration, logic, obliviousness, Advice, executives, motivational speaking

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CEO: The key to success is trusting yourself. Alice: Even when you're wrong? CEO: I'm starting to think motivation isn't a thing.

Sense Of Awe

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Sense Of Awe - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags management, executives, leader, leadership, overwork, work ethic, motivation

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Catbert: A good leader creates a sense of awe in employees. But I think you'll find it a lot faster to create a sense of "ow" instead. CEO: I need you to work all weekend again. Dilbert: Ow!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags executives, truth, honesty, protection, protected, shelter

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Alice: May I speak frankly? Dilbert: Uh-oh. CEO: Of course! A good CEO listens to his underlings. [He soon realized this was a bad idea. Alice's honesty felt like fire ants on his skin. Bystanders scattered. The CEO had not heard the truth in years. It burned like a thousand suns.] Catbert: Whoa! Someone got truthed.

Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert

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Ceo Delegates From A Distance With Catbert - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags punishment, cat, throwing, executives, animals

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CEO: I love having a football-sized evil director of Human Resources. Now I can delegate from a distance. Catbert: I sense disgruntled employees in that direction! Launch! CEO: You'll have to walk after the first ten feet.

Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail

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Ceo Mentors Wally To No Avail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags Promotion, saving face, executives, bad advice, bad ideas, mentor, mentoring

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CEO: I've been mentoring Wally for over a week and he's still useless. But we need to promote him to Vice President so it looks as if my mentoring works. Catbert: That might be a bad idea in the long run. CEO: What is this "long run" people keep harping about?