Family Friendly Policies Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

177 Results for Family Friendly Policies

View 11 - 20 results for family friendly policies comic strips. Discover the best "Family Friendly Policies" comics from Dilbert.com.

Carol Raises Money For School

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Carol Raises Money For School  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags family & parenting, guilt, office, office workers, sales, sarcasm, school

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm selling chocolate bars to raise funds for my kid's school. Dilbert: I'm childless, so I already subsidize your kid's education. Carol: I was hoping it would feel too awkward for you to say no. Dilbert: By my calculations, you owe me money.

Boss Acts Interested

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boss Acts Interested - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags the boss, Dilbert, single, childless, article, productive, kick

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: How's your family? Dilbert: I'm still single and childless. Are you acting interested in me because you saw an article saying it would make me more productive? The Boss: Apparently it doesn't kick in right away.

Death In The Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Death In The Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags carol, Catbert, death, Family, dies, specific

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: Can I take time off for a death in the family? Catbert: Well, it depends who dies. Carol: Can you be more specific? Catbert: It has to be you.

Boring And Needy Children

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags parents, mother, interview, children, annoyance, work-life balance, Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

We Are Family

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
We Are Family - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Family, relationships, parents, leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I think of all of you as family. Wally: That's dumb. Boss: You'll never amount to anything. Wally: Mommy?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insurance, humiliation, death, scam, darwin awards, spin, headline, media, Entertainment, medical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle." So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs." Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.

Home Speaker Goes Bad

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Home Speaker Goes Bad - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, speaker, alexa, google, blackmail, extortion, spying, secrets

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Customers are complaining about our home speaker product with the AI assistant. It keeps learning family secrets and blackmailing its owners to buy it upgraded parts. Robot: I'm baaaaack!

Home Speaker Prototype

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Home Speaker Prototype - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags technology, robot, speaker, invention, sentience

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I need you to design a home speaker that can compete with Amazon Alexa and Google Home. How long before you'll have a prototype? Dilbert: Give me fifteen minutes. Robot: Would I be living with a human family in this scenario? Dilbert: Only your head.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags friendship, closeness, favor, benefit, debate, relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend." A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

Raising Cyborgs

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Raising Cyborgs - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags dating, Women, free will, control, robot, personality, relationships, psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do you ever think about marrying me and raising a family of cyborgs? Robot: No. Alice: I'll add some code to your program so you do. Robot: Okay. Alice: This was the moment I realized human men were obsolete.