Fascinated By New Person Comic Strips - Page 2

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View 11 - 20 results for fascinated by new person comic strips. Discover the best "Fascinated By New Person" comics from Dilbert.com.

Sciencesplainer Explains Science New

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Sciencesplainer Explains Science   New - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #sciencesplainer, #data, #report, #anecdotal, #controlled, #study, #accurate, #face mask

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the sciencesplainer dilbert wearing face mask: we don't have any data yet, but we are hearing good reports. sciencesplainer: those reports are anecdotal. you need a controlled study to be certain. dilbert distressed: literally everyone already knows that. sciencesplainer: sure. but did you know accurate data are better than bad data?

Sciencesplainer New

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Sciencesplainer   New  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sarcasm, #business, #sciencesplainer, #meetings, #interrupt, #condescending, #science

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boss in meeting wearing face mask: i hired a sciencesplainer for our meetings. he'll interrupt us every ten minutes to explain, in a condescending way, how science works. dilbert wearing face mask: why do we need that? boss: it's just something we do.

Ted Talks Creates A God

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Ted Talks Creates A God - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #mental, #midget, #ted talks, #binge-watching, #god, #dumb, #all knowing

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new hire: i must leave you mental midgets behind as i go start up my own company. i was once dumb like all of you. then i started binge-watching ted talks, and i evolved. dilbert: what are you now? new hire: some kind of god, i assume.

Ted Talks Make You Smarter

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Ted Talks Make You Smarter - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #moron, #new hire, #smart, #ted talk, #binge-watch

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new hire: i used to be a moron, but then i binge-watched seventeen ted talks on youtube. now i'm the smartest person in the room. wally: should we do something about this? dilbert: i don't know. i've only watched six ted talks.

Wise Person Said

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Wise Person Said - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #wise, #person, #boil, #stick, #egg, #Advice, #proverb, #threat, #overrate

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asok: a wise person once said you can't boil an egg with a stick. wally: no, but i can threaten you with a stick unless you boil an egg for me. asok: why didn't the wise person think of that? wally: he sounds overrated

Personal Health Data

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Personal Health Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #laptop, #private, #data, #cloud, #asthma, #personal, #health, #edit, #disease

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dogbert at laptop: according to your private data in the cloud, you have a mild case of asthma. dilbert: you can see my personal health data? dogbert: see it? hahaha! i can do more than that! dilbert: what is more than that? dogbert: i can edit it. you have six new diseases now.

Recreational Data

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Recreational Data - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #buisness, #management, #managing, #cloud, #personal, #information, #laugh, #legal, #recreation

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dogbert: the best part about my new job managing the cloud is that i get to laugh at everyone's personal information. dilbert: you're not suppose to be looking at anyone's personal data. dogbert: i'm fairly sure it's legal if i only do it recreationally.

Judging By Looks

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Judging By Looks - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #interview, #manager, #judge, #offensive, #social media, #nonesense

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boss: i'd like to offer you a job, but ten years ago you said something offensive on social media. interviewee: i'm not the same person i was ten years ago. you are judging me by the actions of someone who literally no longer exists. boss: i get your point, but if i go back to the old way of judging people by their looks, we still end up in the same place.

Work Harder Than Others

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Work Harder Than Others - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #motivation, #business, #employees, #managers, #work, #success

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boss: the only way to succeed in this company is by working harder than everyone else. alice: wouldn't that mean only one person in the company can be successful? boss: i might need to rethink my motivational messages. dilbert: maybe save those for your dumber employees.

Alice And Blockchain

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 Alice And Blockchain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #project, #learn, #skills

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alice: i'd like to help on the blockchain project to build my skills in that area. boss: i don't like it when people learn new things. alice: i don't know what to say to that. boss: oh, good. it worked.