Firing Comic Strips - Page 2
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55 Results for Firing
View 11 - 20 results for firing comic strips. Discover the best "Firing" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 17,
2017
Tags laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse
Transcript
Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more." And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Friday November 17,
2017
Ted Might Drop Dead
Tags health, monitor, fitbit, wearable tech, heart attack, diseases, death, prediction, medical
Transcript
Boss: Ted, your performance is poor. I need to let you go. Ted: Is it a coincidence that you're firing me at the same time my employee health monitor detected cardiovascular disease? How good are the predictive analytics on this? Boss: Don't make lunch plans.
Monday October 31,
2016
Boss Makes Dilbert Get Buy In
Saturday October 08,
2016
Problem With The System
Tags fired, bottom, firing, termination, layoff, hierarchy, logic, illogical, executives
Transcript
Boss: Company policy says I have to fire the bottom ten percent of performers, so... you're fired. Dilbert: I thought I was near the top. Boss: That was before I fired everyone below you. Dilbert: Can you see any problem with your system? Boss: Yes, it's exhausting.
Monday October 03,
2016
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted
Tags money, cost, fired, layoff, suggestion
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.
Monday August 29,
2016
The Self Serving Consultant
Tags consultant, cruelty, laziness, work ethic, business
Transcript
The Self-Serving Consultant. Dogbert: I recommend firing this guy so you have more money for me. I also recommend withholding his final check until he makes all of my PowerPoint slides for me. Man: This is messed up. Dogbert: Add some recommendations so I sound smart.
Tuesday September 08,
2015
Ted Has A Bad Feeling
Tags fired, firing, prognostication, predict, psychic, complaining, complaint, prophecy
Transcript
Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.
Friday July 31,
2015
Ceo Wants To Fire Dilbert
Tags laziness, firing, fired, termination, identity, fake identity, alias, nom de guerre, deception
Transcript
Boss: Our CEO ordered me to fire you for embarrassing him at a meeting But that would be inconvenient for me. So... I'm going to call you Carlos from now on. And it would help if you grew a beard and walked with a limp.
Friday November 21,
2014
Ceo Gets Rehired
Tags dancing, executives, firing, payback, revenge, vengeance, rehired, ceo, security videos, happy dance, spasms
Transcript
CEO: Good news! I got rehired as CEO! I checked the security videos for the day I got fired, and not I'm getting revenge on anyone who did a happy dance. Dilbert: Did I...? CEO: Frankly, I can't tell. Do you have spasms?
Sunday April 20,
2014
Tags cleaning, engineers, coal break room, highest priority, mold grow, mutating bacteria, rapidly eveolved, sentient being, fueled by lunch, learned languages, job in hr, plans on firing, inappropriate websites
Transcript
Tina: You need to clean the break room refrigerator more often. Wally: We're engineers. We only do the highest priority tasks. Tina: Mold started to grow in there. Wally: That's no big deal. Tina: Bacteria caused the mold to mutate. Wally: So what? Tina: It rapidly evolved into a sentient being fueled by forgotten lunches. Then it learned language skills and got a job in Human Resources. It plans to frame you for viewing inappropriate websites at work and then fire you. Wally: This sort of thing usually works itself out.

