First Email Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

707 Results for First Email

View 11 - 20 results for first email comic strips. Discover the best "First Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boss Edits Dumb Parts

Thank you for voting.
Boss Edits Dumb Parts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #edit

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i edited your draft to fix all of the dumb parts. it's in your email. the boss: when do you think you will publish it? dilbert: depends how long it takes me to reverse all of your edits. undo undo undo.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #email, #office workers, #project manager, #office, #liar, #photoshop

View Transcript

Transcript

office worker: why are you telling everyone my project got canceled? dilbert: i never said anything like that. office worker: you're such a liar. i saw your email to ted. dilbert: if i show you that email right now, and it says nothing about your project... will you admit you were wrong and humbly apologize to me? office worker: i don't think i can commit to that. dilbert: well, anyway, here it is, and you can plainly see you were wrong. office worker: this looks photo-shopped. dilbert: i don't see a winning path for me here.

Two Step Reorg

Thank you for voting.
Two Step Reorg - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #reorganization

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i just got word that we're about to start a two-step reorg. the boss: in step one, we will centralize functions. then, in step two, we will realize it was a huge mistake and reorganize back to the old way. ted: why don't we just keep it the way it is? dilbert: first day?

Wally Plans His Retirement

Thank you for voting.
Wally Plans His Retirement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2019's comic on:

Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #retirement, #profit

View Transcript

Transcript

wally: the product i'm developing will be unprofitable for the first none years, but revenue will surge in the tenth. the boss: didn't you tell me you plan to retire in nine years? wally: maybe. the boss: you will be happily retired before we find out if profits really do surge in year ten. the boss: that makes everything you say sound suspicious. wally: numbers don't lie. the boss: who came up with the numbers? wally: that's all the time we have for questions.

Sean From Extreme Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Sean From Extreme Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 22, 2019's comic on:

Tags #extreme, #marketing, #sean, #brainwashing, #technology, #unapprove, #first

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: This is Sean from the extreme marketing department. He's here to tell us about our new brainwashing technology. Dilbert: I don't approve of brainwashing. Sean: That's why I'm going to do you first.

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 17, 2019's comic on:

Tags #failure, #inventions, #office workers, #power, #science, #success

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I predict fusion power will be a big deal in fifteen years. Man: Fusion reactors are impossible to build and always will be. Dilbert: Then why are a dozen startups working on it? Man: Everyone who ever tried to create a fusion reactor has failed so far. Dilbert: Thomas Edison failed many times at making a useful incandescent light bulb before he succeeded. Would you have advised him to give up after the first ten failed attempts? I eagerly await your irrational response. Man: Incandescent bulbs are bad for the environment. Dilbert: And there it is.

Health Problems

Thank you for voting.
Health Problems - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 18, 2019's comic on:

Tags #age, #complaining, #health, #office, #office workers

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Do me a favor and never put me on a project with people over the age of forty. They waste the first fifteen minutes of every meeting talking about their health problems. Boss: Did you say something? I can't hear you over my tinnitus.

Old Sayings

Thank you for voting.
Old Sayings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 15, 2019's comic on:

Tags #boss, #email, #insult, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm, #sayings

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I discovered I can insult our boss if I make it sound like an old saying. He thinks all old sayings are wise. Wally: Here he comes. Boss: Did you read my email? Dilbert: A man who sends email has nothing to say.

First Ai As Smart As Humans

Thank you for voting.
First Ai As Smart As Humans - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 08, 2019's comic on:

Tags #intelligence, #invention, #office workers, #robot, #technology, #logic, #conspiracy, #humans

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I've created the first artificial intelligence that is as smart as a human being. The breakthrough came when I replaced its logic code with conspiracy theories, lies, emotional outbursts, and overconfidence. Asok: You have created an abomination. Robot: I find it curious that you take sides with the chem trails.

Exclamation Mark

Thank you for voting.
Exclamation Mark - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2018's comic on:

Tags #boss, #email, #managers & supervisors, #office workers, #pretend, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why did you send me a sarcastic email response? Dilbert: I didn't. Boss: Then how do you explain this exclamation mark? Dilbert: I was pretending to be interested in what you said. Boss: Oh, okay. I like that.