Gigantic Product Document Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

551 Results for Gigantic Product Document

View 11 - 20 results for gigantic product document comic strips. Discover the best "Gigantic Product Document" comics from Dilbert.com.

Great Idea

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Great Idea - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boss, #idea, #office workers, #sarcasm, #trick, #truth, #evidence

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I have a great idea. Let's create a google document that we can all update. Dilbert: That is exactly the idea I suggested to you yesterday. Boss: You can't prove that. Dilbert: That was only true until I learned to wear a wire.

Should Have Done It Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Should Have Done It Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #dollars, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #patch, #payroll, #problem, #raise, #savings, #software, #technology, #years

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.

Stopping Theft Everywhere

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stopping Theft Everywhere - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #office workers, #business, #technology, #system, #reduce, #theft, #dumb, #product

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: and by using this system, we will drastically reduce theft. co-worker: that's the dumbest think i have ever heard. no one can stop theft everywhere in the world. dilbert: i said we would reduce it, not eliminate it. and only for our own products. co-worker: so, in other words, it won't work. dilbert: it works to reduce theft. co-worker: but you admit there will be theft. dilbert standing and yelling: what is wrong with you???? co-worker: hey, i'm not the one who is in favor of theft.

Mind Control

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Control - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #Dogbert, #slump, #sales, #clone, #product, #shoddy, #mind, #control, #legal, #notice

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: my team of dogbert clones has reversed your slumping sales. your products are still shoddy, but we use mind control to make people not notice. it's all perfectly legal. boss: i wasn't going to ask.

Can You Explain

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Can You Explain - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #product, #experience, #content, #salesman

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: can you explain what your product does? salesman: our product was created by an experienced team of technologists to address the way content is surfaced. dilbert: next time just say, "no."

User Complaints

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
User Complaints - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #technology, #support, #business, #staff, #overwhelmed, #bonus, #product, #launch, #department, #problem, #cause, #fair

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: our tech support staff is overwhelmed because we shipped the wrong user guide with our product. boss: my bonus only depends on launching the product on time. tech support isn't my department. dilbert: you caused the problem. boss: who told you it was a fair world.

Dogbert's Tech Support

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dogbert's Tech Support - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #technology, #user, #manual, #common sense

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support dogbert: yes, we know the user manual refers to the wrong product. just use your common sense to figure out what the manual should have said. voice from phone: i tried the, but it didn't work. dogbert: i can't fix your common sense!

Ship Without Manual

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Ship Without Manual  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #ship, #user, #interface, #model, #enemy

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: the product is ready to ship as soon as the new user guide is complete. boss: ship it with the old model's user guide. dilbert: the user interface is totally different. boss: don't let perfect be the enemy of shipping.

Denying Science

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Denying Science - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #medical, #antidepressants, #product, #science

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert's tech support dogbert: i recommend taking powerful antidepressants. it won't make our product any easier to use, but maybe you won't care as much. of course it will work. sheesh! - deny science much?

Blaming Climate Change

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blaming Climate Change  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #technology, #support, #calls, #product, #flaw, #climate, #change, #Environment

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: how are the tech support calls going? dogbert: great. i'm blaming all of our product flaws on climate change, and people are totally buying it. dilbert: that doesn't make sense. dogbert: you'd be surprised how little that matters.