Good Employees Comic Strips - Page 2

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1000 Results for Good Employees

View 11 - 20 results for good employees comic strips. Discover the best "Good Employees" comics from Dilbert.com.

Elbonian Hackers Attack

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Elbonian Hackers Attack  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, elbonian, hackers, attack, stole, database, ranking, employee, haircuts, sarcasm

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dilbert: elbonian hackers stole our employee performance ranking database, and now they demand a ransom payment to give it back. boss: they can keep it. we've been ranking employees solely on their haircuts for years, and no one has complained yet. dilbert: what? boss walking away: we will speak of this no more.

Leadership Quality

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Leadership Quality - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, fire, managers & supervisors, firing, employees, stimulating, sociopath, strong, leader, difference

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boss: i find it oddly stimulating to fire employees. does that make me a sociopath or a strong leader? catbert: i take it from your question that you think those are different things.

Dilbert Makes A Friend

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Dilbert Makes A Friend - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, office, work, news, friend, social media, monster, check, fooled, posts

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dilbert and dogbert at home. dilbert: good news. i made a friend at work. dogbert: have you checked his social media posts? dilbert yelling: he's a monster! dogbert: that's why we check.

Opposition Research

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Opposition Research - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, business ethics, managers & supervisors, accomplishments, year, opposition, research, co-workers, ranking, employees, idea

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wally: it might seem as though i accomplished very little this year. and that's true. but i also have a trove of opposition research on my co-workers. boss: what? wally: ranking employees against one another was your best idea ever.

Make Us Look Good

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Make Us Look Good - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, press release, company, support, social, issues, complaining, awesome, research, appearances

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ceo: write a press release saying our company supports whatever social issues people are griping about lately. tina: does it matter which issues i pick? ceo: nah. just make us look awesome. tina: should i research the issues first? ceo: are you trying to not get the point?

Must Register To Date

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Must Register To Date - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, love & dating, managers & supervisors, company policy, human resources, new, dating, register, link, details, laptop

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boss on video call. boss: our new policy is that employees cannot date each other unless they register with human resources. this won't have much impact on my department because most of you are completely undatable. voice from laptop: ouch. boss: there's a link for details, but you won't need it.

Zooming Right

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Zooming Right - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, sarcasm, technology, video call, adjustments, camera, nose, lighting, lightbulb, beard, audio, idea, rude, laptop

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alice: can you adjust your camera so i'm not looking up your nose? okay, now can you adjust your lighting so you don't look like a lightbulb with a beard? voice from laptop: how's my audio? alice: it's as good as your ideas.

Taking Time Off

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Taking Time Off - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, video call, vacation, paid time off, critical, essential, system, migration, kidding, success, zoom, call, valuable, asset, engagement

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boss and dilbert on video call. dilbert: is it okay if i take next week off? boss: are you kidding? we're in the most critical month of the system migration. you're essential to our succcess. all hands must be on deck. dilbert: really? it seems as if all i do is listen to other people say useless stuff on zoom calls. boss: my goodness, no! employees are our most valuable asset! we can't succeed unless we have 100% employee engagement. dilbert: i took all of last week off for vacation, and no one noticed. boss: next time, start with that.

Fired For Social Media

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Fired For Social Media - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags social media, business, technology, employment, fire, offensive, bad, people, twitter, issues, context, sides, associate, monsters

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boss: dilbert: i need to fire you for your social media activities. dilbert: did i say something offensive? boss: i'm getting reports that you follow bad people on twitter. dilbert: i follow people on both sides of every issue so i can see the full context. boss: that might sound good on paper, but half of the people you follow are monsters of one sort or another. dilbert: isn't it obvious that enforcing this kind of standard can only lead in a bad direction. boss: no, i don't see that at all. all i see is that you associate with people who are monsters. ceo to boss: i'm getting reports that you follow dilbert on twitter.

Remote Workforce

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Remote Workforce - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, Lose, market share, remote, workforce, employees, micro management, shoulders, minute, coffee, company, baffle

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boss: we're losing market share to a company that has a remote workforce. dilbert: how can they be doing so well when the employees don't have someone like you looking over their shoulders every minute? boss: i know its baffling.