Good Personalities Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Good Personalities

View 11 - 20 results for good personalities comic strips. Discover the best "Good Personalities" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #rules, #quotes, #chaos, #purchasing

View Transcript

Transcript

purchasing manager: i can't approve this purchase without three vendor quotes. dilbert: only two companies in the world make this sort of product. purchasing manager: if i bend the rules for you, everyone will want me to bend the rules. dilbert: maybe you could only bend the rules when it makes complete sense to do so. purchasing manager: that would be chaos. Purchasing manager: everyone thinks they have a good reason to bend the rules. dilbert: is the real problem here that you were bullied in school, and you use this job for some sort of sick revenge. purchasing manager: now you need four vendor quotes.

Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It

Thank you for voting.
Why Are Other Companies Not Doing It - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #office, #company, #variables

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: if your idea is so good, why aren't other companies doing it? dilbert: because they are in completely different businesses with completely different variables and they don't have a genius like me working for them. the boss: what happens if we try your idea but we do it wrong? dilbert: that's called "business as usual."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 02, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #strategy, #variables, #forecast

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: my profit forecast isn't aligning with our strategy the boss: try adding some variables. dilbert: what kind of variables? the boss: the kind that make our strategy line up with our profit forecasts. dilbert: but...then my forecast would not be accurate. the boss: it's already inaccurate because no one can forecast complicated things five years ahead. the boss: if we can't be accurate, we might as well be wrong in a way that is good for us in the near term. dilbert: you make a surprisingly robust argument for evil. the boss: and i was barely trying!

If You Can Dream

Thank you for voting.
If You Can Dream - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #boss, #business, #Dilbert, #sleeping, #inspirational quotes, #Wally

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss: i'll be sharing one inspirational quote each day. next frame shows outside of office: "if you can dream it, you can achieve it." Wally: zzz-zzzz. dilbert: he's off to a good start.

Worthless Suggestions

Thank you for voting.
Worthless Suggestions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

ted: i notice you didn't incorporate any of my suggestions in your final draft. ted: it's as if you are saying my ideas are worthless. dilbert: i would never say that. ted: so you're saying my ideas are good? dilbert: let's not reject ambiquity so quickly.

Dogbert Narrates

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert Narrates - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #narrator

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: hi, i'm dilbert, and this is my narrator. dogbert: bob wondered when was the last time dilbert had washed his hands. it was a good question. bob: what? dilbert: just ignore the fore-shadowing.

Dilbert Hires A Narrator

Thank you for voting.
Dilbert Hires A Narrator - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 06, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #coffee, #office, #office workers, #narrator

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i'm not a good communicator, so i hired a narrator. cynthia: how will a narrator help? dogbert: cynthia was as dumb as she looked.

Welcome Baskets

Thank you for voting.
Welcome Baskets - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 30, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #racism, #new employee

View Transcript

Transcript

alice, the boss and ask at table. the boss: i need a volunteer to assemble welcome baskets for our new hires. alice: i recommend ask the intern because obviously, it would be sexist to ask a women to do it. the boss: good point. ask, the project is yours. ted thinking: racist.

Be More Like Alice

Thank you for voting.
Be More Like Alice - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2019's comic on:


Tags #complain, #office, #office workers, #pay raise

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss: i can't give you a raise because you didn't do anything noteworthy this year. dilbert: it only seems that way because i'm so good at my job that i make it look easy and never complain. alice visually upset and yelling: my job is a nightmare!!! the boss: why can't you be more like alice?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 07, 2019's comic on:


Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #relationships, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

tina: i don't appreciate the sarcastic text message you sent me. dilbert: that wasn't sarcastic. tina: yes, it was. dilbert: wouldn't i be a better authority than you about my own intentions? tina: only if i could trust you. but i can't trust you. dilbert: give me one good reason why you shouldn't trust me. tina: because you send sarcastic text messages. dilbert: um... tina: and here comes the mansplaining.