Hatred Comic Strips - Page 2
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20 Results for Hatred
View 11 - 20 results for hatred comic strips. Discover the best "Hatred" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday October 08,
2009
Tags career, mean, plans, murder, nervous, misunderstanding, hatred
Transcript
The Boss says, "Carol, I'd like to talk to you about your career goals." Carol says, "My career goal is to take over the department by tricking you into a fatal accident, then telling everyone you're just working from home." The boss says, "That's not right." Carol says, "So you're saying I should set my goals low?"
Tuesday March 03,
2009
Tags meeting, colors, useless, hatred, complaining, business
Transcript
The boss says, "At the value stream stand up meeting, all status reports must be in the form of red, yellow, or green." Mauve Ecru Cerulean Puce the boss says, "Sometimes the only point of a meeting is to remind me how much I hate them."
Wednesday February 11,
2009
Tags job, hatred, advise, business
Transcript
Dilbert works in collections Dilbert says, " how am I supposed to collect money from people who don't have any?" Woman says, "Tell them to rob someone you don't like." Dilbert says, "?and that's my supervisor's home address. But you'd better hurry before all the good stuff is gone."
Thursday February 28,
2008
Tags approval policy, coffee supplies, disobedience, fire, hatred, new informational services, effigies
Transcript
Man: I realize you don't like the new information services approval policy. But I would appreciate it if you didn't build effigies of me out of coffee supplies." "Seriously. It's creeping me out." Alice: Heh heh heh!"
Monday December 18,
2006
Transcript
"I got your overly brief e-mail, which obviously means you hate me and everything I stand for!" "I was in a hurry and didn't want to make you wait for a reply." "Well, okay, but I still have residual hatred that I'll need to transfer to some other aspect of your personality." "Fair enough."
Saturday March 26,
2005
Tags hating software, integration project, hate it, simply mentioned, pros and cons, balanced anaysis, hatred
Transcript
The Boss: What's this I hear about you hating the software integration project? Dilbert: "I don't hate it. I simply mentioned both the pros and cons. People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred." The Boss: "How can you hate it so much???!!" Dilbert: "This is one of those days when it's hard to be me."
Monday March 17,
2003
Tags brainstorm ideas, employee morale enhancement, pin the tail, boss, employees, hatred, low morale, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Let's brainstorm ideas for 'Employee Morale-Enhancement Day." Alice says, "We could play pin the tail on the pointy-haired weasel whose breath smells like feet." The Boss says to Catbert, "We might need more morale-enhancement days." Catbert replies, "How about this weekend when I'm not here?"
Monday July 01,
1996
Tags friendship, quality assurance, find flaws, object intense, hatred, ridicule, fix flaws, respect, special bond, relationships
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Ratbert, my company is hiring for our quality assurance group. You'd be perfect." Ratbert asks, "What would I have to do?" Dilbert replies, "You would find flaws in our new product, thus making yourself an object of intense hatred and ridicule." Ratbert says, "But then you'd fix those flaws . . . And your respect for me would grow into a special bond of friendship, right?!" Dilbert replies, "No, then we ship."
Sunday October 31,
1993
Tags restaurant, Dilbert, Dogbert, waitress
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert tells the waitress, ". . . And no onions." The waitress replies, "Very good, sir." Dilbert hands her the menu and says, "You didn't write it down. You aren't even intending to get it right." The server replies, "This way there's no incriminating paper trail . . . Just your word against mine." The waitress glares at Dilbert and says, "When you complain about getting the wrong meal I'll look at you like this." The waitress continues, "Then I'll roll my eyes, causing you to wonder whether you misspoke when you ordered." The waitress continues, "I'll offer to replace the meal but you know that will take forever and also come out wrong." The waitress laughs hysterically. The waitress asks Dogbert, "And for you?" Dogbert says, "Number five, hold the demonic hatred."
Monday March 11,
1991
Tags Dilbert, shredder, door, self deprication, hatred, insecurities
Transcript
Carrying a stack of paper, Dilbert approaches a door marked "Shredder." The sound, "Bzzzzzzpp . . ." comes from inside the shredder room. Dilbert exits the shredder room. His hair, tie and shirt have been shredded. Dilbert thinks, "I hate being me."
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