Hearing Comic Strips - Page 2

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47 Results for Hearing

View 11 - 20 results for hearing comic strips. Discover the best "Hearing" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Offends Coworkers

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Dilbert Offends Coworkers - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags honesty, honest, truth, polite, politeness, etiquette & ethics

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Boss: I'm hearing reports that you have been offending your co-workers. Dilbert: By being honest? Boss: Yes. Cut it out. Dilbert: Okay, will do. And you believe me, right?

Alice's Off Color Jokes

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Alice's Off Color Jokes - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joke, jokes, joking, assume, assumptions, offensive

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Tina: I'm uncomfortable with the off-color jokes I keep hearing in the engineering department. Boss: I'll talk to the guys and tell them to knock it off. Tina: Guys? Alice: Stop being babies. My jokes do not hurt your ears! Dilbert and Asok: It burns!

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags big business, business ethics, obliviousness, core competencies, automating things, worshipping stars quo, steve jobs, reanimated body, making lapses, fiduciary responsibility, hearing what we want

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Dilbert: I did a study of our core competencies. It seems we're very good at automating things that we shouldn't be doing in the first place. But that's not all we're good at. We're also good at worshipping the status quo as if it were Steve Jobs' reanimated body. And no one is as good at masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility. Lastly, we're good at hearing what we want to hear. Boss: So... we're good at automating things?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags clean mold, refrogerator, undelings, winning, testoterone, priority

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Dilbert: I read that winning at anything boosts your testosterone. Boss: I need one of you underlings to clean the mold out of the office fridge. That's your top priority today. Wally: What's this "winning" I keep hearing about?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags joking, mobile (cell) phones, hearing aid, quick text, all caps

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Boss: I'll just send a quick text to Paul. Wally: Paul has a hearing aid, so type in all caps. Boss: Good idea. Dilbert: That's messed up. Wally: A little.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags deception, language, managers & supervisors, key to leadership, vague golas, jargon, wishful thinking, dumping work, whine about goals, better system, business

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Boss: The key to leadership is setting vague goals that are a combination of jargon and wishful thinking. That way, I can keep dumping work on you without hearing you whine that it doesn't fit with your goals. You have to admit, my system is better than whatever you're doing over there. Dilbert: Yup.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags prosperity, cash cow, cow, making money, utter

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Dilbert: Hey, you must be the cash cow I keep hearing about. You must be making cash right now! Cash Cow: It doesn't work every time.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags competition (psychology), fish & aquatic mammals, complaints, shark, doplphon, robot, patrol, waters

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Boss: I'm hearing some complaints that you built a robot shark to patrol the soc-called territorial waters around your cubicle. Alice: It's a robot dolphin. I can see how people might be confused. I need you to smile more. Shark: Whatever.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work-life balance, lazy, annoyed, clench teeth, angry

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Wally says, "I need to get some of that work-life balance I keep hearing about." Wally says, "I thought about work all last night at home, so what do I do now?" Wally says, "It's not too late to get in on this."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags invention, gadget, sink attaches to body, faucet on head, running water, work, annoyed, hearing, yell

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Wally says, "I invented a sink that attaches to my body. The faucet is activated by your voice." The Boss says, "Wally, what possible use could this stupid thing have? I need you to do some real work." Wally says, "What? I can't hear you when the water is running!"