Heavy Objects Comic Strips - Page 2

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25 Results for Heavy Objects

View 11 - 20 results for heavy objects comic strips. Discover the best "Heavy Objects" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 31, 2001's comic on:


Tags #mobile tech platform, #own wheelbarrow, #lost lung

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The Boss walks out of his office with his giant gadget and says, "Carol, order an extra battery for my mobile technology platform." Carol replies, "Do you want the one that straps to your back or the one with its own wheelbarrow?" The Boss is seen sweating, carrying a huge, heavy black thing on this back, and thinking, "I think I just lost a lung."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 11, 2001's comic on:


Tags #nephew, #job interview, #bowling, #heavy balls, #work, #experince, #taught, #snack bar, #whacked, #new boss

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The Boss hands a piece of paper to Dilbert and says, "My nephew wants a job. Interview him and tell me what you think." The Boss' nephew sits across from Dilbert as Dilbert looks at his resume. Dilbert says, "Let's see... Your work experience is... Bowling." Dilbert asks, "Are you a professional bowler?" The Boss' nephew replies, "I only bowled once." The Boss' nephew continues, "But the balls were heavy. It seemed like work to me." The Boss' nephew continues, "That experience taught me everything I know." The Boss' nephew continues, "Unfortunately, I don't remember most of it." The Boss' nephew continues, "But I remember you're not supposed to bowl in the snack bar." Dilbert says to The Boss, "I recommend having him whacked." The Boss replies, "He's your new boss."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 10, 2001's comic on:


Tags #the motivation fairy, #greatest challenge, #get paid less, #minimum wage, #reimburse, #travle, #career path

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THE MOTIVATION FAIRY: The Motivation Fairy, hovering in the air behind Wally, says "You will be my greatest challenge." Wally turns to the Motivation Fairy and says, "I'll bet you get paid less than minimum wage and they don't reimburse you for travel." The Fairy drops the magic wand and says, "Wings... So... Heavy..." Wally asks, "So, what kind of career path you got going?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2000's comic on:


Tags #birthday, #mothers birthday, #warp up present, #an hour later, #throwing towel, #element of suprise, #no waste paper, #cookies

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In the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "I've been thinking about your birthday, Mom." His mother says, "How sweet." Dilbert says to his mother, "It seems so inefficient to wrap up your present." As they carry milk and cookies out of the kitchen, Dilbert says to his mother, "You'll just rip up the wrapping paper an hour later." As his mother sets the cookies down, Dilbert says to her, "So I was thinking of throwing a towel over it instead." Dilbert says to his mother, "You'd get all of the element of surprise without wasting paper." Dilbert says to his mother, "Maybe I can use one of your towels so I don't have to lug one from my house." Dilbert's mom says, "Of course, dear. I wouldn't want you to lug a big heavy towel just for me." Dilbert reaches for a cookie and says, "Good. It's settled." His mother says to him, "Those aren't for you."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 16, 2000's comic on:


Tags #have none, #intern, #know how, #semi colons, #skills, #teaching, #tech suport, #useful skills, #cubicle, #education

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Tina pokes her head into Asok's cubicle and says to him: "Asok, can you help me install an ethernet card?" Asok says to Tina: "Tina, I am not your personal tech support." Tina says: "But you know how to do it and I don't." Asok says: "Well...that is true." Tina says to Asok: "Could you carry the PC to my new cubicle? It's too heavy for me." Tina says: "Someday I'll repay you by teaching you about semicolons." Asok says: "How come I have many useful skills and you have none?" Tina answers: "I guess I'm just lucky." Asok carries the computer looking angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 29, 1995's comic on:


Tags #tweaking brittle, #brittle people, #tech wroter, #forms of expression, #insult gender, #tina, #orgs of expression, #venus de milo, #Women, #lift heavy objects

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Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I feel like tweaking some brittle people. Do you known any brittle people?" Dilbert responds, "Try Tina the tech writer. She believes that all forms of expression are an insult to her gender and her profession." Dogbert says to Tina, "The statue of 'Venus de Milo' has no arms." Tina replies angrily, "Oh, I get it. You're saying that women can't lift heavy objects."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #heavy weight, #boxing cahampion, #new goal, #ratbert, #too small, #slow, #clueless, #catching on

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Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "My new goal, Bob, is to be the next heavyweight boxing champion of the world!!" Ratbert continues, "Don't let anybody ever tell you that you're too small or too slow or too uncoordinated." Bob interjects, "Or too clueless." Ratbert responds, "Exactly! Now you're catching on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 10, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #aliens, #abductiving, #probe, #body, #cavities, #implant, #objects, #advanced, #medical, #research, #round, #pellet, #prober, #nose

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "We can only speculate why aliens keep abducting people." Dilbert continues, "They often probe people's body cavities. Sometimes they implant small objects. It must be some form of highly advanced medical research." An alien says to another alien, "How about another round of 'Hide the Pellet?'" The other alien holds up an instrument and replies, "Okay. I can use my nose prober."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #larry king, #live, #dog, #sexy, #beer, #commercial, #angry, #feminist, #encourage, #Women, #sex, #objects, #views, #Dogbert

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Larry King sits at a table and says into the microphone, "Tonight on 'Larry King Live' we have a dog who makes sexy beer commercials, plus an angry feminist." The woman points to Dogbert and says, "His commercials encourage discrimination against women by portraying us all as sex objects." Dogbert asks the woman, "Are you saying men are so dumb, they get their views on life from beer commercials?" The woman crosses her arms and says, "I call them like I see them."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #farm, #kay, #clem, #bovinski, #location, #unexplained, #deep, #voice, #disturbances, #40 years, #objects, #explanation, #cut

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The strip is titled, "Dogbert's World of the Unexplained." Dogbert says, "I am at the farm of Kay and Clem Bovinski . . ." Dogbert walks up the front steps and continues, ". . . The location of unexplained phenomena." The caption says, "(Deep voice) The disturbances have lasted 40 years." The Bovinskis sit on their couch. Kay says, "Objects move all by themselves. Sometimes they hit Clem." Clem says, "I reckon it's poltergeist, no other explanation makes sense." A lamp hits Clem on the head. Clem lies on the floor and Kay sits on the couch looking suspicious. Dogbert says, "Cut."