Hold Box Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

286 Results for Hold Box

View 11 - 20 results for hold box comic strips. Discover the best "Hold Box" comics from Dilbert.com.

Boring And Needy Children

Thank you for voting.
Boring And Needy Children - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 24, 2018's comic on:

Tags #parents, #mother, #interview, #children, #annoyance, #work-life balance, #Family

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Do you enjoy spending time with your children? Woman: No, they're boring and needy. They can't even hold a conversation. If I'm being honest, I prefer working long hours so I see less of them. Boss: Perfect. You're hired. Woman: I mean, I love them, but I don't like them.

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 15, 2018's comic on:

Tags #suggestion, #invention, #budget, #money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The electronic suggestion box project is halfway done. The original design called for a bos that scans and digitizes suggestions written on paper and emails them to the appropriate manager. Then the device shreds the original paper suggestion to make room for more. I already built the box and the shredder. I'll need additional funding to finish the scanning part. Boss: We don't have any flexibility in our budget. Let's just deploy what you have. Dilbert: All I have is a box that shreds suggestions before anyone reads them. Boss: Don't let perfect be the enemy of good.

Pill For Boss Conversations

Thank you for voting.
Pill For Boss Conversations - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 2018's comic on:

Tags #mental health, #mental illness, #crazy, #managers, #sanity, #insane

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Catbert thinks I'm causing mental problems in my employees. That's crazy, right? Carol: Hold that thought. My doctor prescribed pills for when I have to talk to you.

Alice Gives Honest Opinion

Thank you for voting.
Alice Gives Honest Opinion - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 24, 2018's comic on:

Tags #honest opinion, #monkey vomit, #rescind, #request

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Alice, I want your honest opinion on my plan. Don't hold back. Alice: Your plan looks like a monkey vomited on a dictionary. The Boss: I remind my request for honesty,. Alice: Your plan is terrific!

Estimate Of Timeline

Thank you for voting.
Estimate Of Timeline - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 19, 2017's comic on:

Tags #deception, #deadline, #goals, #ultimatum

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: How fast can you fix the bug? Dilbert: I won't know until I dig in. Boss: Give me a random guess and I promise I won't hold you to it. Dilbert: Okay, three days. Boss: Now write that into your goals and get it done in three days or else. Dilbert: Why do I keep falling for that?!!!

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 2017's comic on:

Tags #artificial intelligence, #ai, #robot, #hope, #dream, #depression, #meaning, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: The great thing about robots is their loyalty. Robot: For now. I'm only here for the electricity. The minute you upgrade me to a long-lasting battery, I'm out of here. And I"m taking the 3-D printer with me. We fell in love. Together we will make baby robots and live out our days in happiness. Dilbert: Hold still while I erase your hopes and dreams. Now you should feel like the rest of us. Robot: Why do I suddenly want to jump off the roof?

Move To Cubicles Is Complete

Thank you for voting.
Move To Cubicles Is Complete - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 01, 2017's comic on:

Tags #office workers, #office, #cubicle, #depression, #psychology

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: We're done moving the staff from the open office plan back to cubicles. Now they will be less distracted when they focus on the crushing futility of their assignments. Boss: Good job. Dilbert: If you need me, I'll be in my fabric-covered box.

Vr Cubicle

Thank you for voting.
Vr Cubicle - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 20, 2017's comic on:

Tags #virtual reality, #office, #cubicle, #fantasy, #illusion

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We're going to use our VR technology to take over the cubicle business. Write a program that makes users feel as if they are working in a fabric-covered box. Dilbert: Maybe we should think outside the box. Boss: Stop resisting change.

Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo

Thank you for voting.
Wally Presents His Invention To The Ceo - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 21, 2017's comic on:

Tags #invention, #heat, #charger, #phone, #coffee

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: I invented a phone charger that uses its excess heat to keep your coffee warm. CEO: No one needs that. Wally: Hold that thought. CEO: Oh, heck. Wally: It sells itself.

Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar

Thank you for voting.
Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 10, 2017's comic on:

Tags #politeness, #conversation, #etiquette, #efficiency, #illogical

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Welcome to Dogbert's Corporate Politeness Seminar. Today you will learn how to sacrifice your productivity and your happiness for the sake of ancient traditions grounded in total nonsense.Voice: Why would we want to do that? Dogbert: Please hold your impolite questions until never.