Hours Per Week Comic Strips - Page 2
Search Filters
Year
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
654 Results for Hours Per Week
View 11 - 20 results for hours per week comic strips. Discover the best "Hours Per Week" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday June 17,
2020
Sarcastic About Safety
Tags #boss, #education, #office workers, #safety, #sarcasm, #training
Transcript
Boss: I hear you were being sarcastic about safety. Obviously, you don't take safety seriously, so I have to send you to a safety re-education camp for a week. Dilbert: That will totally fix this problem. Boss: You just bought yourself an extra week.
Sunday June 07,
2020
Should Have Done It Sooner
Tags #business, #dollars, #failure, #managers & supervisors, #patch, #payroll, #problem, #raise, #savings, #software, #technology, #years
Transcript
dilbert: i wrote a software patch that will save three million dollars per year. i feel as if i deserve a bonus or a raise. boss: when did you do it? dilbert: this week. boss: how long did we have the problem? dilbert: five years. boss: then you should have fixed it five years ago. looks like a gigantic failure to me. you should be ashamed of yourself. in another room catbert: did you try my strategy for keeping payroll expenses low? boss: works like magic.
Friday May 15,
2020
No Interruptions At Home
Tags #technology, #business, #working, #home, #workday, #productivity, #anger, #annoying, #bowel, #problems
Transcript
dilbert sitting on couch with dogbert: i like working from home. i can do eight hours of work in one hour because no one is interrupting me. dogbert yelling: i'm trying to work here! dilbert: did i tell you about my bowel problems? dogbert: go away!
Tuesday April 21,
2020
Coronavirus
Tags #24 hours, #business, #coronavirus, #health, #home, #remote, #tragic, #work from home
Transcript
dilbert: i'm working at home to avoid the coronavirus. i'll have to stay here 24 hours a day. dogbert: that's tragic. dilbert: i don't mind. dogbert: i meant tragic for me.
Monday March 02,
2020
Wally Rounds Off
Tags #office workers, #business, #work, #critical, #tasks, #failed, #enjoyment, #anger
Transcript
wally: i did no work this week because i had too many critical tasks to do. no matter what i worked on, i would have failed to do the other 99% of tasks that were equally critical. so i rounded it off to 100% and enjoyed my week. alice yelling: why do i work here??? why???
Saturday February 15,
2020
Before Or After Firing
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #prototype, #request, #fire
Transcript
dilbert: we destroyed all of the prototypes you requested. boss: i never asked for anything remotely like that. dilbert: ted said you did. boss: did he tell you that before or after i fired him last week?
Monday February 03,
2020
Dilbert Organizes The Lab
Tags #sarcasm, #business, #tech, #lab, #reorganize, #co-workers, #grateful
Transcript
dilbert: this week i reorganized the tech lab from top to bottom. dogbert: were your co-workers grateful? dilbert: yes, assuming they show it by rummaging through the wrong drawers and cursing.
Sunday January 26,
2020
Buzzflawed Interview
Tags #managment, #business, #reporter, #cheat, #suppliers, #question
Transcript
carol: a reporter for buzz flawed wants to interview you. boss: i don't see any downside to that! reporter: my first question is, do you still cheat all of your suppliers? boss: no! of course not. reporter: so. you're admitting you cheated your suppliers in the past? boss: get out of my office, you evil monster! reporter: okay, i got what i needed. one week later: voice from boss's smartphone: "the pudgy miscreant could not hide his glee when bragging about cheating his suppliers."
Saturday January 04,
2020
Wally Stopped Trying
Tags #managers & supervisors, #useless, #trying, #incompetence, #co-workers, #pay, #work
Transcript
wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.
Monday December 16,
2019
How Long It Will Take
Tags #business, #assignment, #deadline, #incompetence, #meeting, #co-workers, #months
Transcript
boss: can you have it done in a week? dilbert: not if i have to work with other employees. given the galactic incompetence of my co-workers, it would probably take seven to non months. boss: i'll give you two weeks. dilbert: that's how long it will take to set up the first meeting.