Hours Worked Comic Strips - Page 2
325 Results for Hours Worked
View 11 - 20 results for hours worked comic strips. Discover the best "Hours Worked" comics from Dilbert.com.
wally: i did no work this week because i had too many critical tasks to do. no matter what i worked on, i would have failed to do the other 99% of tasks that were equally critical. so i rounded it off to 100% and enjoyed my week. alice yelling: why do i work here??? why???
wally: this week i didn't do any work because there is no point in trying. in the unlikely event i did something useful, it would be ruined by the massive incompetence of my co-workers. boss: i pay you to act as if you are trying. wally: oh, in that case, i worked hard this week.
boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.
alice to the boss: one option is to use the old method that has never once worked, but we think we know how to make it work next time. alice: the other option is to try something new that we can't be sure will work. alice: it's almost as if leadership is nothing but guessing. the boss drinking coffee: let's change the subject.
Man: I'm a foodie. Are you foodie too? Dilbert: I think of food as fuel. Man: But you enjoy eating good food, right? Dilbert: I try to avoid food that tastes good. That way, I won't overeat. I usually just check my plate for any stray bandages, and that's about it. If my food passes that test, I shovel it toward my mouth while reading stuff on my phone. Man: I don't think I can be your friend. Dilbert: That worked out better than I hoped.