Hows My Walking Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

254 Results for Hows My Walking

View 11 - 20 results for hows my walking comic strips. Discover the best "Hows My Walking" comics from Dilbert.com.

Dilbert Hates Safety

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Hates Safety - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, safety, anger, yelling, statistics, flaw, authority, health

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: your method of calculating the safety statistics is flawed. monkey man: wow. wait until i tell everyone you don't think safety matters. dilbert: i...didn't say that. i'm talking about the way you measured it. monkey man yelling: it's too late to walk it back now! dilbert: i'm not "walking it back." i'm clarifying. monkey man: there's nothing to clarify, you hate safety. dilbert yelling and waving arms: stop putting words in my mouth!! i'm a better authority on what i think than you are!!! boss in hallway: what was all that yelling about? monkey man: dilbert thinks safety doesn't matter.

Human Walking This Way

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Human Walking This Way - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags coronavirus, exercise, fish, health, human, social distancing, walking, water

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert walking outside thinking: uh-oh. a human being is walking in my direction. dilbert jumping over wall into river: aaaagh!!! fish in water by dilbert: i need to ask you to back up six feet.

Stress Can Kill You

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Stress Can Kill You - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, coronavirus, cortisol, dead man walking, depress, fear, immune, increase, scared, social distancing, system, virus, health

View Transcript

Transcript

dogbert: you have nothing to fear from the coronavirus but fear itself. obviously, the fear will increase your cortisol levels and depress your immune system so the virus can finish you off. dilbert visually shaken: now i'm scared. dogbert pointing: dead man walking!

Diet Preferences

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Diet Preferences - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags conference room, office workers, chitchat, bore, diet, preferences

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert thinking as walking into conference room: oh, no. i'm here too early. there will be chitchat. dilbert sitting empty conference room: someone is going to bore me to death talking about their diet preferences. ted: i only eat figs. dilbert thinking: kill me. kill me. kill me.

Just Like Marketing

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Just Like Marketing - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, marketing, project, managers, stupidity, transfer, extinguished, divinity

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.

Wally Gives Back The Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Gives Back The Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags gender, misunderstanding, obliviousness, Parenting, adoption

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: How's your adopted Elbonian baby doing? Wally: I had to give it back. It was a lot needier than I expected. Dilbert: Was the baby a boy or a girl? Wally: How would I know? It couldn't even speak yet.

Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Cares For Elbonian Baby - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags babies, excuses, misunderstanding, office workers, Parenting, work, adoption, negligence

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: How's it working out with the Elbonian baby you adopted? Wally: Great! Now I have lots of excuses for missing work, and I still look like a saint. Carol: What kind of daycare are you using? Wally: I just sprinkle cheerios on the floor and lock the door.

Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Why Did You Not Tell Me Sooner - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, career, information, office, problem

View Transcript

Transcript

the boss to dilbert: why didn't you tell me about this problem earlier? dilbert: because you would have made decisions based on incomplete information and ruined my career. the boss walking away: okay, i didn't realize that was obvious.

Asok's Employee Engagement

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Asok's Employee Engagement - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags employees, managers & supervisors, office workers, work, attitude, expectations

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Asok, your employee engagement has been a bit soft this quarter. I expect a higher level of irrational enthusiasm for the endless string of thankless tasks you call your job. Asok: How's this? Boss: I also want to see an unnatural preference for work over leisure.

Gut Feeling

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Gut Feeling - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags managers & supervisors, tests, data, instinct

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Why are we going ahead with the plan when the data says it can't succeed? Boss: I manage by instinct and gut feelings. Dilbert: How's that different from being insane or stupid? Boss: My gut says I should not listen to you.