Hunched Over Comic Strips - Page 2
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647 Results for Hunched Over
View 11 - 20 results for hunched over comic strips. Discover the best "Hunched Over" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 04,
2020
Marketing Complains
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #marketing, #complain, #moronic, #fired
Transcript
boss: marketing is complaining that you're not using their ideas. dilbert: that's because all of their ideas are moronic. boss: i told them i fired you. don't leave your cubicle or use any digital devices until this blows over.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday January 15,
2020
Violating Rules
Tags #managers & supervisors, #rules, #business, #audit, #employees, #company
Transcript
boss: our internal audit found that you violated over four hundred company rules in the past year. dilbert: i'm also the only employee who accomplished anything last year. now connect the dots. boss: so you're saying we need more rules.
Friday January 10,
2020
Just Like Marketing
Tags #business, #marketing, #project, #managers, #stupidity, #transfer, #extinguished, #divinity
Transcript
boss: how's your project going? dilbert: it was doing fine until a thick wave of stupidity swept over it and extinguished my spark of divinity. i don't know what will become of me. boss: i'll transfer you to marketing. they're all like that.
Thursday December 19,
2019
Not Fair
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #work from home, #fairness, #power
Transcript
tina: i hear we are not allowed to work from home because it doesn't satisfy your sick need to wield power over us in person. boss: that's not fair. tina: is it accurate? boss: let's stick with "not fair."
Wednesday December 18,
2019
Can't Work From Home
Tags #business, #managers & supervisors, #technology, #power, #work from home
Transcript
dilbert: can i work from home? boss: no, because then i won't have the enjoyable sensation of wielding power over you. dilbert: everything about that sounds wrong. boss: off you go.
Saturday October 19,
2019
Dilbert Is Bad At Reading Faces
Tags #business, #office workers, #psychology, #over sleeping, #pancakes, #hungry
Transcript
dilbert: i'm not good at reading faces. what does that one mean? man: it means i'm mad at myself for over sleeping and having to rush to work, so i hate your guts. dilbert: oh. i was guessing it was something about pancakes. probably because i'm hungry.
Monday October 14,
2019
Mad Or Flirting
Tags #flirting, #relationships, #feelings, #awkward, #psychology, #anger, #office workers
Transcript
dilbert: why are you mad at me? Carol: i'm not dilbert: oh. i'm not good at reading people's feelings carol: true dilbert: are you flirting with me now? carol getting up: i'm going to sit over here
Sunday July 21,
2019
Hallucinations At Meetings
Tags #business, #office, #office workers, #server, #hallucinate, #network
Transcript
in conference room. dilbert: i recommend we upgrade one of our servers over the weekend. office workers: so, just to be clear, you want to replace our entire network in two days? dilbert: um...no. i want to replace one defective server. office worker: we can't replace our entire network in two days! that is ridiculous! dilbert: i don't know what is happening right now. dilbert: it's as if they things i say have no impact on what you hallucinate you are hearing. office worker: you think you can replace an entire network in two days, and you think i'm the one who is hallucinating? dilbert: i don't know what to do right now. office worker: your incompetence is confirmed.
Wednesday June 26,
2019
Jargon Poisoning
Sunday May 05,
2019
Tags #business, #chair, #office, #office workers, #allergies, #hazmat
Transcript
alice: i need a new chair. mine is broken. the boss: you can use my old chair. i just got a new one. alice: the chair you sat in every day for the past twelve years? alice: by now that chair cushion is home to a thriving colony of your cooties. alice: that chair will be off--gassing you for decades. alice: i wouldn't touch that thing unless i were wearing a hazmat suit over my other hazmat suit. alice: i'm breaking into a flop sweat just thinking about it, and i think it's triggering my allergies. the boss: would you like to borrow my hand-kerchief? alice is visually in a daze.