Important Comic Strips - Page 2
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182 Results for Important
View 11 - 20 results for important comic strips. Discover the best "Important" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday December 28,
2019
Employee Engagement Survey
Tags managers & supervisors, underpay, senior, management, accurate, information, engagement, survey, important, underpaid
Transcript
boss: all out the employee engagement survey and make sure you lie like crazy. i don't want any accurate information to bubble up to senior management. dilbert: i've never felt less important. boss: good. that's why i can underpay you.
Saturday October 26,
2019
Self Reliant
Tags managers & supervisors, business, project, teamwork, help, teach, self-reliant
Transcript
boss to wally: ted says you wouldn't help him on his project. wally: i was teaching him how to be self-reliant. that's important too, isn't it? not such an easy question, is it?
Sunday June 09,
2019
Tags business, cell phone, managers & supervisors, message, office, squirrels
Transcript
the boss to dilbert: ...and then i need you to... notification sound from dilbert's phone. the boss: don't do it. don't check that message. dilbert: but it might be important. the boss: it isn't more important than listening to your boss. dilbert: i have no way of knowing that. dilbert yelling: look! there's a squirrel on the printer! the boss turns around: i don't see a squirrel. the boss: did you check your phone? dilbert: was i suppose to just sit here and watch you looking for squirrels?
Wednesday January 03,
2018
Wally Is Late For Meetings
Sunday December 11,
2016
Tags health, morning, waking up, sleepless, complaining, manager, sociopath, emotions
Transcript
Boss: Can you take a call with our Elbonian customers at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Dilbert: Sure. All I need to do is put my health at risk by not getting enough sleep tonight. Of course, I'll hate your guts for making me come to work so early. And I would expect my bad attitude to infect my co-workers and make them less productive, too. My lack of sleep will affect my decision-making, obviously. And I"m working on important projects, so the ripple effect could be catastrophic. So, do you still want me to be here at 6 a.m. tomorrow? Boss: Yes. You don't have to be a sociopath to be a manager, but it helps.
Sunday August 21,
2016
Tags financial, jargon, money, accounting, language
Transcript
Boss: I think it is important for every employee to understand our company's income statement. I don't have time to get into all of the details, so I'll hit the high points. Compared to last year... our ebida have been amortized over an accrued market discount. Meanwhile, our capital account liabilities have a pass-through income that is far larger than our on-time costs. And the mome raths outgrabe. Too far? Dilbert: I wasn't listening.
Wednesday February 24,
2016
Asok's Goal
Tags goals, employment, driver, ride share, rideshare, dream, turnover
Transcript
Asok: Is it important to have goals? Boss: Yes! You need goals to succeed. Asok: Good, because my goal is to become an Uber driver. I quit. What is your goal? Boss: Reducing employee turnover.
Saturday August 01,
2015
Solving Problems In Interviews
Tags interview, trick, thinking, problem
Transcript
Job Interview. Boss: Tell me your process for solving this sort of problem. Man: I would ignore it for a week and likely discover that it wasn't important in the first place. If it still matters after a week, I would hold fake job interviews and ask people how to solve it. Boss: Apparently, that doesn't work.
Sunday May 03,
2015
Tags reasoning, excuse, leadership, Promotion, promote
Transcript
Boss: I can't promote you because you didn't have an impact on anything important. Dilbert: How can I have an impact on important things when you put me on unimportant projects? Boss: That sounds like an excuse. Dilbert: What's the difference between an excuse and a great reason? Boss: It depends who says it. Leaders have great reasons when things don't work out, but losers just have excuses. Dilbert: So... you can turn my excuses into great reasons by promoting me? Boss: No, because I can't promote you. Dilbert: That sounds like an excuse.
Tuesday April 07,
2015
Useless Mansplainers
Tags mansplainer, relations between the sexes, sexism, Women, engineers, programmers, furstration
Transcript
Alice: I can't get any work done because my project team is a bunch of useless mansplainers. Why do men feel the need to explain things to me when I know more than they do? Boss: Let me explain it to you, Alice. Men like to show off and feel important. Alice: Stop it!


