Inch Taller Comic Strips - Page 2
16 Results for Inch Taller
View 11 - 16 results for inch taller comic strips. Discover the best "Inch Taller" comics from Dilbert.com.
Alice sits at her computer, behind her is Mordac. He says, "I am Mordac the Preventer, your liason from the information technology department." Mordac says, "I come with tales of resource shortages. Your request for our services has been denied." Alice stands up and is much taller than Mordac. She says, "I didn't request any of your services." Mordac replies, "Don't try your reverse psychology on me."
Dilbert and his mother stand in the kitchen. Dilbert asks, "What do you want for your birthday this year, Mom?" Dilbert's mother replies, "Oh, nothing. I have everything I need." Dilbert says, "Oh, c'mon. There must be something you want." His mother replies, "Well, one thing, but it's silly." They sit in chairs. Dilbert says, "You just name it." His mom replies, "Okay." Dilbert's mother says, "I'd like a home entertainment theatre with a fifty-inch screen, 'Thx' Surround Sound and a 600 KBPS satellite link to the Net so I can view adult pictures during the commercials." Dilbert replies, "I was thinking more along the lines of a new toaster oven." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, that's exciting. I'll put it next to my other one and watch them fight it out." Dilbert says, "There's a real dark side to the information age." Dilbert's mother says, "Oh, and about the gift of life I gave you; you're welcome."
Alice asks Dilbert, "What are you doing in the marketing department?" Dilbert pulls a cubicle wall and replies, "It's an experiment." Dilbert explains, "I sneak down here once a week and move this guy's cubicle wall in by a quarter-inch." A man with a briefcase tries to squeeze into a tiny cubicle. Alice asks, "What's this experiment going to prove?" Dilbert replies, "I forget. It's been a long time."
Tags #45 inch screen, #communications staellite, #cure disease, #fish appear on screen, #great products, #marketing, #new product, #room freshener, #telepathic user, #whiten teeth, #time travel, #business
How Great Products are designed The Boss: Go talk to marketing. Dilbert: Groan Dilbert: Dave, tell me what marketing wants the new product to do. Dave: It has to have a 45 inch screen and still fit in a purse or a wallet. Dave: It needs to act as a communications satellite as well as a room fresher. Dilbert: uh... Dave: it must cure deadly diseases and whoyten your teeth while you sleep! HAHA! and it has to be capable of time travel!! and have a telepathic user interface! Slap! Dilbert: I could write a program that makes fish appear on the computer screen, DAVE: yeah a lot of people want that.
Dilbert: "35 inch monitor, 20 MEGs of RAM, 1.2 gigabytes of hard disk space..." "I feel a song coming on." "People...who don't need people...are the ha-a-a-ppiest people."
Dilbert asks a salesclerk in a clothing store, "Excuse me, do you have any pants that AREN'T a twelve-inch waist and fifty inches long?" Dilbert holds up a pair of tiny pants and says, "I ask because there are no human beings who could wear these pants, and one of the secrets of retail success is to stock merchandise that somebody might want." Dilbert continues, "Then people would shop here and actually BUY things." The clerk replies, "Wow, that's way harder than what we do."