Inject Deadly Poison Comic Strips - Page 2

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

33 Results for Inject Deadly Poison

View 11 - 20 results for inject deadly poison comic strips. Discover the best "Inject Deadly Poison" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #temporary credentials, #webservices, #ritual shaming, #engineer, #public shaming, #poison the well, #credibility, #healthy place, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can you show me how to set up temporary credentials for our web services? Alice: Only if you are prepared for your ritual shaming. Dilbert: Yes, always. Alice: Okay, here it goes. What kind of engineer doesn't know how to set up temporary credentials? Ha ha ha ha! I will tell this story for years! Hey, everyone! Guess what Dilbert doesn't know! That should be enough to poison your well of credibility. Dilbert: This isn't a healthy place. Alice: Then why do I feel so alive?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absurdly complicated, #financial model, #absenteeism, #error, #excel sheet, #stock holders, #poison cafeteria

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: according to your absurdly complicated finical model, we can double revenue by increasing absenteeism. To be fair, there might be an error or two in the excel spreadsheet. CEO: Maybe , but I think I owe it to our stockholders to poison the cafeteria just to be sure,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #poison pill, #company takeover, #front, #surprise, #angry, #awkward, #uncomfortable, #skip, #pre-meeting, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO says, "Mister Dogbert will describe our 'poison pill' strategy for preventing an unfriendly takeover." Dogbert says, "It turns out that no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged quagmire. So you're all set." Dogbert says, "Maybe next time you won't skip the pre-meeting."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #clean up, #janitor, #crime scene, #push broom, #deadly computer explosions

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I got transferred to our crime scene cleanup subsidiary." Dilbert says, "I have a competitive advantage because I have the customer lists from our other subsidiaries." Man says, "No, we haven't had any deadly computer explosions here." Dilbert says, "I'll check back in an hour."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #sitting, #reading, #judging, #reviewing, #skills, #lying, #panic, #diverting, #attention

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "According to your skills inventory, the only thing you are good at is?" Catbert says, "?diverting attention from your own lack of value." Wally says, "Is it just me, or is there a deadly gas leak in the building?" Catbert says, "Erk!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poison pill, #watch, #ceo carcass, #executives

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "You can thwart this unfriendly takeover by using something called a poison pill." CEO: I keep one in my watch. I'll take it immediately." Dogbert: That's not...I suppose I could feed your tainted CEO carcass to the executives of the other company. CEO: Gurgle

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #free publicity, #products are deadly, #recalling everything, #told the media, #public relations

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Wally, I can't work with the smell of popcorn in the air. It makes me insane!" "I use it to mask the odors coming from my body. Choose your poison." "Refueling the Hindenburg?" "Why are people so mean?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #underlings, #anything useful, #little people, #deadly accident, #vow, #in office, #listening to little people

View Transcript

Transcript

"Carol, don't let the underlings of my underling come into my office." "I can't learn anything useful by listening to the little people." "I renew my vow to lure you into a deadly accident!!" "Whoa! Whoa! Tell it to my underling."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #poison waffles, #stock, #insider trading, #conflicts of interest, #worthwhile, #banking business

View Transcript

Transcript

"I'll recommend your stock to the public, but first I need some conflicts of interest to make it worthwhile." "For example, I'll need to get your investment banking business." "Okay." "And you need to merge with my other client that makes poison waffles." "Okay."