Insult Comic Strips - Page 2
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117 Results for Insult
View 11 - 20 results for insult comic strips. Discover the best "Insult" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 10,
2019
Adding Insult To Injury
Tags business, tech support, customer, calls, interface, reboot, idiot
Transcript
boss: i hired the dogbert tech support team to help with customer calls because our user interface is so sadistic. dilbert: wouldn't that be adding insult to injury? boss: how so? dogbert in a office at a desk yelling: try rebooting, you idiot. and don't call again!
Friday December 06,
2019
Others Have Failed
Tags office workers, idea, technology, rodent, insult, cheese, business
Transcript
male employee: your idea won't work because others have already tried it and failed. dilbert: others have tried different things that simply remind you of my idea. i mean, you remind me of a rodent, but that doesn't prove you like cheese. employee: i love cheese
Sunday November 10,
2019
What If You Are In A Coma
Tags business, cell phone, client, stupid, liar, insult, understand, die, coma
Transcript
phone conversation dilbert: if you have any problems with the software, just give me a call. client: what if you die or you're in a coma? dilbert: well, in those cases i would not return your call. client: so you're lying about getting back to me. dilbert: no, i'm making a normal kind of generalization, which i assumed you would understand. client: okay, so now you're calling me stupid, and you're a liar? dilbert: if a liar calls you stupid, wouldn't that mean you are smart? client: fair point dilbert: thanks, i'm proud of it.
Friday November 08,
2019
Wally Compared To A Placebo
Tags managers & supervisors, project, failure, coincidence, placebo, insult
Transcript
boss: wally, i've noticed that every project you have worked on has failed. is that a coincidence? wally: it's hard to know. unless you compare me to a placebo. boss: okay, you're worse than a placebo. wally: i thought that would take longer.
Wednesday October 16,
2019
Slippery Slope
Tags business, managers & supervisors, slippery, slope, approval, database, cosmetic, surgery, insult
Transcript
dilbert: can i take this database class? boss: no, that's a slippery slope. if i approve that class, next you will demand i pay for cosmetic surgery. dilbert: do i look like i need it? boss: only in two places - your face and your body
Friday September 27,
2019
Hypothetical Observer
Tags boss, employees, insults, managers & supervisors, office workers, sarcasm, idiot
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you for explaining to me how to do my job, for which I am highly trained and you are not. An observer might be tempted to say only an idiot would do such a thing. Boss: Is that an insult? Dilbert: Hey, don't blame me for what a hypothetical observer says.
Thursday August 29,
2019
The Inexperienced Employee.
Tags Advice, criticism, employees, insults, office workers
Transcript
Man: Let me tell you how to do your job. You need to get all the vendors in the same room and insult them until they offer you discounts. Dilbert: That sounds super dumb. Man: That's what they said to Galileo old man.
Friday February 15,
2019
Old Sayings
Saturday July 21,
2018
What Classes To Be An Engineer
Tags intelligence, insult, Advice, logic, engineer, engineering
Transcript
Man: What kinds of classes should I take to become an engineer? Alice: Start by taking whatever kind of class makes you fifty percent smarter. Man: Then what? Alice: Then you won't need to ask me what to do next.
Friday July 06,
2018
No Plans To Reorganize
Tags reorganization, rumor, insult, logic
Transcript
Boss: There is absolutely no truth to the rumor that management is thinking about reorganizing the department. But reorganizing would obviously be a smart thing to do. Dilbert: Then why are you not considering it? Boss: This is exactly why no one likes you.


