Johnny Cash Comic Strips - Page 2

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48 Results for Johnny Cash

View 11 - 20 results for johnny cash comic strips. Discover the best "Johnny Cash" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 04, 2008's comic on:


Tags #new vp of finance, #secret offshore bank, #forgot account number, #password, #name of country, #not so good

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Wally is the new VP of Finance A troll says, "I moved all of our cash to a secret offshore bank." The troll says, "But I forgot to write down the account number. Or the password. Or the name of the country." The troll says, "And... I'm not entirely sure it was a bank." Wally thinks, "First day, not so good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2005's comic on:


Tags #desperate venture capitalist, #math grades, #first idea, #mezzanine funding, #cash bag, #students, #education

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Vijay, the World's Most Desperate Venture Capitalist "You two have good math grades." $ 8 "If you grow up and marry and produce a little engineer baby, I want to invest in its first idea." "Please don't be too late!" "Dude, we're already looking for mezzanine funding."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 03, 2004's comic on:


Tags #college, #emplyee, #first pay check, #freak out, #know about her, #paid in cash, #dedcutions, #education

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Dilbert: do you want to watch when the new employee looks at her first paycheck? Wally: ooh-ya! Wally: what do we know about her? Dilbert: She's target out of college, all of her prior jobs paid her in cash. wally: perfect. dilbertL ear guards on. My first paycheck deductions???? Hmmm. how bad could it be? WAHT THE.... Next time no coffee. eh?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 16, 2004's comic on:


Tags #celebrity business plan, #commit crime, #hire lawyer, #reality tv show, #gain weight, #tabloids, #spokesperson, #weight loss product, #write children book, #rehab, #addicted to painkillers, #plan, #future plans, #goals, #sensationalism

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Dogbert: "Would you review my celebrity business plan?" Dilbert: "Sure." Dogbert: "First, I'll commit a sensational crime that the media can't ignore." "Then I'll hire celebrity lawyer, Johnny 'Red' Galipigos to help me beat the rap." "I'll use my fame to land a part on a reality tv show where I will win by cheating." "Then I'll gain a massive amount of the weight so the tabloids will fixate on me." "Burp" "Then I'll become a spokesperson for a weight loss product." "It works!" "Lastly, I'll write children's books." Dilbert: "What about rehab?" "Good catch. I totally forgot the part where I get addicted to pain killers." Dilbert: "Otherwise it looks good."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 09, 2004's comic on:


Tags #attend meeting, #mandatory meeting, #meeting mandatory, #approval, #bending rules, #handed out cash

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"Can I talk to you after the mandatory meeting?" "Whoa! Whoa! I didn't give you approval to attend that meeting." "The meeting is mandatory." "Approval is mandatory too." "Okay, whatever." "May I go to the mandatory meeting?" "All requests must be in writing." "It's mandatory!!! Man-duh-tory!!!" "If people start bending the rules, before long, murder will be legal." "That was the finest mandatory meeting I've ever attended! They handed out cash!" "Shut up."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 2003's comic on:


Tags #manager of executive compensation, #plan to steal, #meeting, #back slapping, #pormises, #raises, #ponys, #vacations, #huge raise, #business

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Boss: "I'd like you to meet Bradley, our new manager of executive compensation." Boss: "Bradley's job is to recommend to our board how much to pay company executives such as me." "Bradley is totally objective." Bradley: "Totally." "That was a world-class observation, so I'll recommend that the company buy you a pony." "...A STRONG pony to carry the huge bags of cash I recommend for you." Boss: "Good work, Bradley. I'll recommend to the board that you get a huge raise!" Dilbert: "Gaaa!! Stop pretending to have reasons!! Just steal the stupid money!!!" Boss: "See what I have to deal with every day?" Bradley: "Would an extra month of vacation reduce the sting?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #homemaking skills, #marry a man, #garbageman, #present value cash flow, #comparison, #trained monkeys, #monkey surplus, #bobby upset

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Alice is walking outside, she approaches The Garbageman and asks, "Would it be wrong to marry a man for his homemaking skills?" The Garbageman replies, "Do a present-value cash-flow comparison of marriage versus the equivalent service from trained monkeys." Bobby is sobbing. Alice consoles him, "It's not you.. it's me... and a world wide oversupply of monkeys."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 13, 2003's comic on:


Tags #hard day, #meeting with ceo, #billion dollar comapny, #free stock, #cash fow, #revenue, #disaster events, #tragic evenets, #slpping, #fear induced meeting

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Dilbert: Im taking my business case too some venture capitalists. Im hoping that their wisdom and resources will make it a billion dollar company. Dilbert: Would you like some free stock? Dogbert: BAH! Dilbert: What would I do without the support of my loved one? CEO: What would the cash flow look like if.... ....Revenue was zero, microsoft and IBM entered the market , your factory burned down and a piano fell on your head? And what about civil unrest, lawsuits, natural disasters and locusts? Dilbert: ...Then the little one slapped me. Dogbert: Now RE_E_EL them in.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 17, 2003's comic on:


Tags #lost cash, #consultectomy, #wallet, #transfusion, #sedate unwilling donor, #happy hour

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The Boss is lying in bed. Dogbert says, "The consultectomy was successful, but you lost a lot of cash." Dogbert continues, "We're giving your wallet a transfusion, but we had to sedate an unwilling donor." A businessman sits on a bed with a martini in one hand. There is tube stretching from his pocket to The Boss' wallet, Ratbert is manning the machine. The businessman says, "Whoever thought of happy hour at a hospital is a geniush."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 15, 2003's comic on:


Tags #losing cash, #operate immediately, #removal service, #operate immediatley

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The consultick has burrowed himself all the way through The Boss' torso. Dogbert says, "It looks like you need 'Dogbert's Consultant Removal Service.'" Dogbert continues, "He's in there good. You must be losing a lot of cash." The Boss bends over and Dogbert lifts up the back of his jacket. The consultick's head is sticking out of The Boss' back and his hand is in The Boss' pocket. Dogbert says, "It already spread to your wallet. I'll have to operate immediately."